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09 July 2005 @ 05:09 pm
Fic: 'Whiskey Bent and Hell Bound'
Author: darkhavens
Title: Whiskey Bent and Hell Bound
Pairing: Spike/Xander, Xander/Anya
Rating: 18+
Words: 3283
Feedback/Concrit: darkhavens @ slashverse.com
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Summary: Xander's whisky bent and hell bound in all the literal ways. *g*
Notes: Because I love you all I'm not making you wait until tonight for the next fic. *g* This is the second of my unrelated pieces written for brandil and crazydiamondsue's Music of Pain Xander-centric ficathon. (Masterlist available Monday 11 July.) And despite literati's best attempts, this is the complete story. Whatever happens afterwards is all in your heads, k?

Lyrics to 'Whiskey Bent and Hell Bound' by Hank Williams Jr

I've got a good woman at home who thinks I do no wrong
But sometimes lord, she just ain't always around
And you know that's when I fall, I can't help myself at all
And I get whiskey bent and hell bound

Play me some songs about a ramblin' man, put a cold one in my hand,
'cause you know I love to hear those guitar sounds
Don't you play 'I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry' cause I'll get all balled up
And I'll get whiskey bent and hell bound

Sure enough about closing time, (I'm) about stoned out of my mind
And I end up with some honky-tonk special I found
Just as sure as the morning sun come, thinking of my sweet girl at home
And I need to get whiskey bent and hell bound

Play me some songs about a ramblin' man, put old Jim Beam in my hand
'cause you know I still love to get drunk and hear country sounds
But don't you play 'Your Cheatin' Heart' cause that'll tear me all apart
I'll get whiskey bent and hell bound

Yeah, old Hank's songs always make me feel low down

Whiskey Bent and Hell Bound

The wedding goes off without a hitch - despite everything - and Anya and Xander slowly, happily, settle into married life.

Six weeks later Xander's lifelong shell of denial develops cracks.

He goes out with some guys from work to celebrate a promotion, gets roaring drunk, and wakes up very naked and totally screwed. By Spike. There is panic and denial. There are threats and accusations. There are recriminations flying thick and fast.

Xander dresses in record time and flees the crypt as dawn breaks, blocking out the quickly veiled hurt in Spike's eyes.

And life in the Harris household goes on as usual, for the next few months, until Xander has a little too much to drink at a workmate's birthday bash.

Again he wakes at dawn, his body tangled with another, cooler, form. And once again he panics, pouring scorn and loathing on the rumpled, sated vampire.

He flees the crypt and avoids touching alcohol for weeks. He would have liked to avoid touching Anya too, but she has 'needs'. And so life in the Harris household goes on as usual.

The fifth time it happens, Xander isn't quite as drunk. He wakes up knowing exactly what he's done. He clearly remembers begging Spike to - 'Please, Baby' - fuck him, knees bent over shoulders, hands knotted into sheet-filled fists. The memory of the way Spike feels - 'Ohmygod! Yes! Thererightthere! - inside him causes his dick to twitch, and a heavy shroud of guilt wraps around his heart. He never comes like that with Anya, he's never once passed out. With her he always keeps a minute part under tight control, a discipline he hasn't even noticed until now. He's never dared to lose himself with any girl like that, but Spike has somehow...

"Staying for a morning session this time, are you, Pet? Did you tell the missus you'd be out all night?"

Heart palpitations, from the shock of Spike whispering those - any - words in his ear, coincide with the rush of blood to his groin as his dick reacts favourably to just the thought of a bonus morning session, and Xander almost passes out again. He shakes his head to clear it, unknowingly transmitting his decision.

"Right then. You gonna start with all the screaming and shouting while you're getting dressed, or can we, just this once, take it all as read? Undead, unclean, unwanted, I know the drill. Just get your kit on and run back to the clueless little wife, okay? I'm sure you'll be back here soon enough."

And Xander leaves without a word, sneaking home to curl up on the couch the way he always does, so Anya can believe he came home drunk and just passed out.

The memories replay themselves at inconvenient times. Every time he slips between her thighs he feels Spike there, buried deep inside him. And he comes.

Anya uses women's magazines to diagnose him - premature ejaculation brought about by stress - and tells him he should spend more time with friends, more time relaxing. She decides he'll spend each Friday night out with the guys, drinking, playing pool, just having fun. She's the one who phones him up at work to say 'don't hurry home', 'you must relieve your stress so you're relaxed so we can have more sex', and obediently he does what he is told.

Of course, the only thing that really does relieve his stress is getting buggered hard and fast by Spike. So, under orders, and he really feels he is, he buys a couple of bottles of decent whisky. He's going to go and see Spike when he's sober, just this once, so they can talk this over, over drinks. Maybe they can come to some... arrangement, about stress relief.

He knows it's no solution but surely it's a start. Maybe if he gets this out of his system it'll all work out? He'll go back to his wife and settle down and they'll be happy. They'll have the kids, the cottage, and the little wrought iron fence. Not pickets - Anya thinks they look like stakes. And until then he'll do what Anya wants and practice stress relief. So long as no one knows it'll be okay... right?

tabaquitabaqui on July 9th, 2005 04:24 pm (UTC)
Oh you evol, evol thing.
darkhavens: sx a love eternal [literati]darkhavens on July 10th, 2005 12:18 am (UTC)
Me? Evol? Whatever do you mean? *blinks innocently*

It's all Xander's fault. He should have got drunk before the wedding, woken up in Spike's bed and never left. Silly boy.

Thanks! :D
The EV0l Twinwritan_bur on July 9th, 2005 04:25 pm (UTC)
oh wow... you make the helplessness and the trap Xander fell in so clear... and it looks like there's no way out, but there's always hope in my heart that the boys will work it out in the end...
darkhavensdarkhavens on July 10th, 2005 12:20 am (UTC)
Thanks! It's a trap of his own making, but it'll still hurt when he gets caught. *g*
realtsunamigirlrealtsunamigirl on July 9th, 2005 04:49 pm (UTC)
Argh. That was soooo good in such a horrifying way.

You make it hurt so nice:-)
darkhavensdarkhavens on July 10th, 2005 12:22 am (UTC)
Hee! I do enjoy torturing those boys sometimes. *g*

reremouse: Hurt Xander by secondversereremouse on July 9th, 2005 05:15 pm (UTC)
Hurt them like that some more! You make it good.
darkhavensdarkhavens on July 10th, 2005 12:25 am (UTC)
Heeeeee! That sounds so bad. Say it again! *g*

Thankee, sweetie.
tarumataruma16 on July 9th, 2005 05:57 pm (UTC)
That was good! It hurt like hell to see them like this!!
But you're really good at it!!!
darkhavensdarkhavens on July 10th, 2005 12:30 am (UTC)
Hee! Thankee. It's a skill I've spent many months acquiring. *g*
Explicit Adult Content? You're soaking in it!: going to hellyin_again on July 9th, 2005 07:14 pm (UTC)
Heh! Love it.
darkhavensdarkhavens on July 10th, 2005 12:33 am (UTC)
Thankee. :D
outsideth3box: Biohazardoutsideth3box on July 9th, 2005 09:54 pm (UTC)
Oh, that was just *nasty*, baby girl. Seriously f*&^d up. And so totally Xander.

Spike, ever more completely the butt-monkey than Xander...

darkhavensdarkhavens on July 10th, 2005 12:34 am (UTC)
Thanks! And yes... ouch. For everyone concerned, so at least I didn't pick on just the one. Spike and Xander suffer now, and Anya gets a taste too if/when she figures it out. Equal opportunity ouch! *g*
werewindlewerewindle on July 9th, 2005 10:15 pm (UTC)
Gah. I feel bad for Spike, I mean I know Xander is traped or what ever with Anya but Spike gets the short end here. Nicely writen none-the-less.
darkhavensdarkhavens on July 10th, 2005 12:35 am (UTC)
Thank you. :D

I like to think that Spike is playing the long game. Not something he's too clever at, really, but there's always a first time. ;)
I am Derek's vocal eyebrows: ak; lost [me]literati on July 10th, 2005 12:20 am (UTC)

So that's it, is it? All the begging and pleading and let's not forget the whining. All for nothing. It's over. No more Hank.


::shuffles feet::

I'll get him anyway I can, I guess. ::sniff::

::clings and adds him to memories::
darkhavensdarkhavens on July 10th, 2005 12:37 am (UTC)
^^^pets you^^^
*smooches you*
Thankee baby. :D
paradise4writin: Spanderparadise4writin on July 10th, 2005 01:09 am (UTC)

aww poor boys!

Great job
darkhavensdarkhavens on July 13th, 2005 12:20 am (UTC)
Thanks. They're both hurting but they aint gonna stop. *g*
blinding_sight: saifai preciousblinding_sight on July 10th, 2005 06:35 am (UTC)

Standalone? No standalone! Fix it!

darkhavensdarkhavens on July 13th, 2005 12:23 am (UTC)
Hee! Yes. Standalone. I am evil. I know this. literati has told me so every time I've said no to extending 'Hank' so she can see the vengeance-wreaking of Anya and the happy ending she is positive I'll add. *g*
Virtual Personal: Spike Smokin - by fanbotvirtualpersonal on July 10th, 2005 11:47 am (UTC)
This was both heartbreaking and hot. I can just see Spike taking whatever Xander dishes out, knowing he'll be back. Loved the dialogue.
darkhavensdarkhavens on July 13th, 2005 12:30 am (UTC)
Thanks. I love writing dialogue between those two, and yes, Xander will keep going back and going back until something happens.
Ailiseailise on July 10th, 2005 06:07 pm (UTC)
Oh, Xander.

And Anya.

And Spike.

darkhavensdarkhavens on July 13th, 2005 12:31 am (UTC)
Aw. *hugs*

They survive... I think. ;)
Spike's Heart: Broke My Heart - secondversespikes_heart on July 11th, 2005 03:26 am (UTC)
Once again my poor vamp is secretly used to make someone else feel better. What a horrid lot in unlife. And still, he gives. What a charitable fella. **grins**
darkhavensdarkhavens on July 13th, 2005 12:33 am (UTC)
He is a truly charitable fellow, always ready to help a friend in need. And Xander needs so much help. ;)
(Deleted comment)
darkhavensdarkhavens on July 13th, 2005 12:35 am (UTC)
Thank you! I don't often do pain, which is probably why I ended up doing three MoP fics - I had a backlog. *g* So glad it worked!