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08 November 2004 @ 08:48 pm
To Die For, series of 10 for open_on_sunday challenge 85, Sickness/Illness
Author: darkhavens
Title: To Die For
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: R, for sex and undeath
Email: darkhavens@slashverse.com
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.



"Oh, ew! I'm gonna be sick!"

Reflex. Action/reaction. Move/countermove.

Spike desecrates food and is immediately reassured when Xander feeds back the expected (almost requested) response.

A double act. A comfortable relationship. A bond. Though either and both would deny its existence and any enjoyment of the same, it is there, hiding beneath the surface of every interaction. And they like it.

Spike believes he thinks in terms of Pavlov's dogs when considering Xander's typical reactions. He'd deny with every breath he doesn't have that he is equally conditioned to respond to bodily functions and dysfunctions with a scarily similar 'ew'.


"Xander, are you okay? You look hot. Do you have a fever?"

Maybe that would explain why his skin is suddenly two sizes too small, and why his manly bits have filled with blood and are thinking happy thoughts about a certain undead roommate.

It's not that he's attracted, because he isn't, not really. It's a fever, a spell, or maybe a demonic ray that somehow turned him gay? He's just been watching Spike take out some fledges. Watching those agile moves and limber leaps and kicks, and suddenly he's seeing Spike naked, moving over him, in him, in bed.

Sickening For Something

Droopy-boy's been acting weird now for a week. Moping around the place, looking like his kitten just died. He's not eating properly either, well, not for him. And he keeps giving me looks, all full of guilt and hurt confusion, and damn me but I'd swear I get a whiff of bloody pheromones every morning before he scuttles off to work.

But when Xander surprises Spike, just out of the shower and barely covered by a towel, the vampire finally figures out the truth. The boy is horny, for him, and he's drowning himself in guilt because of it.



Maybe there's a spell gone wrong or something in the air, 'cause every time I look at him now I wonder...

He's so damn eager to please, just like a puppy doing tricks to earn affection. He throws himself at everything, no holds barred, no thought to consequence, just wants to be a part of it, to help.

I wonder if he'd bring all that enthusiasm and loyalty to bed. He's so damn young, and hot... and innocent, I'd bet, at least in that regard. He'd probably taste sweet with all the sugar he gets through.

Maybe just a taste...

Heart Failure

"Gah! Spike, what are you...?"


"Spike? What the...?"


"Oh. Ohhh!"

"Surprised, Harris? You shouldn't be. You've been thinking about this for weeks now, haven't you? And you got me thinking too. What if I suddenly did this..."

A squawk, a flail, and a human heart almost stops dead from shock. Not pleasure, you understand, just shock. Yeah. Shock.

"That's what I thought."

A hard, cold kiss moves the event from some demonic gameplay into the realms of... something else entirely, though neither would admit that they were lost, adrift and floundering.

The planned surprise for one has caught them both.

Allergic Reaction

"Stop it! Gods, just the thought of you together makes my skin all itchy."

Scratching motions are applied to make the point, as Buffy still cannot accept the idea of 'overkill'.

It's been a month and she still reacts like this whenever they touch, or hold a look for just that moment too long. Spike thinks it's fun to wind the Slayer up and watch her go, while Xander wants acceptance, like the Willow/Tara organism received.

But Buffy scratches on and makes a fuss, and Xander knows that if she really had a problem he'd be going home with dust.

Familiar Symptoms

He'd seen it coming; recognised the tension in the air. Hidden glances, longing looks and wistful what-if stares, had told a tale of lust he recognised from long ago.

There's nothing like a bad boy on the prowl to get those juices flowing. At least he'd been the badder boy back then, maybe not black of heart, but badly stained.

So Giles watches, worrying, while Ripper views with glee, the union of innocence with evil. And both say prayers to keep the ending calm, not filled with malice and betrayal and revenge. But wonder if an end will truly come...


"You're sure it's not a spell, or a thrall, or maybe a wish gone bad?"

"Willow, it wasn't that sudden. I've been... w-watching them now for weeks. And they were w-watching each other too. The only m-magic involved is w-what they've m-made themselves."


"They're in love, Willow. If you'd looked you w-would have seen by now."

"Xander's my best friend, of course I've looked! I've..." A frown and a bitten lip are joined by a shame-filled expression. "I've just been busy."

"Too b-busy with your m-magic to notice your c-closest friend's in love. This obs-session is unhealthy, sweetie. See?"

Terminally Ill


"Spike. The doc said I was lucky Pat dropped that rebar on my head. Without that we wouldn't have known until much too late. Now, with proper treatment to keep the tumour from growing so fast, I've got maybe a year left instead of weeks. He's really sorry there's nothing they can do to get it out, but surgery's not an option with where it is. At the very least I'd be blinded, but the odds of that are small. More likely I'd be paralysed or... gone. So it's drugs and radiation and a steady fade to black, unless..."

The Cure-All

Giles and Wes spent many hours communing on the phone, discussing gypsy curses and the like. Willow played happy families with Xander, while Buffy tried to slay away the pain. Tara watched.

The soul curse was successfully restructured. Xander spent his last day in the sun. The others were sent home to wait; this final act was personal, too intimate to share.

So tears and sweat and seed and blood were spilled. A banquet for the starving, each drop as harsh as lye. Death seemed a little extreme as a cure for cancer, but it worked.

"Thank you, Spike. Sire."

feeling: artisticartistic
Goes "Ding" When There's Stuff: SXsuki_blue on November 8th, 2004 09:58 pm (UTC)
~sniff sob sniff~ Boy, you know how to make a girl well up. But they are together forever, isn't that we we all ultimately want for them? Or am I a sick puppy to be craving that?

darkhavensdarkhavens on November 8th, 2004 11:04 pm (UTC)
Oh, you're definitely not a sick puppy for wanting them to be happy and... undead together. *g*

::passes you a tissue::

Glad you enjoyed it. Hee!
jstabe: The Kissjstabe on November 8th, 2004 10:10 pm (UTC)

That was wonderful.
darkhavensdarkhavens on November 8th, 2004 11:04 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :o)
I am Derek's vocal eyebrows: m; sumner sunset [me]literati on November 8th, 2004 10:27 pm (UTC)
awwwww lovely! Now they have eternity to explore just what makes Spike howl ;)
darkhavensdarkhavens on November 8th, 2004 11:05 pm (UTC)
Yeah! Rowr. *g* Fankoo. :o)
it only burns when I breathe: spike&xander_goodboy_secondversespikedluv on November 8th, 2004 10:31 pm (UTC)
You are so freaking amazing. The way you come up with all these ideas! So clever. And, of course, Spander! Whee! Loved 'Fever' and 'Allergic Reaction', lol!!
darkhavensdarkhavens on November 8th, 2004 11:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :o)

Watching Spike and imagining him naked would make anyone overheated. *g* And Allergic Reaction just struck me as a raction Buffy would have. Hee!
disconnectedmirasol on November 8th, 2004 10:51 pm (UTC)
Just wonderful - I really loved the way that you involved everyone. I've got a lump in my throat.
darkhavensdarkhavens on November 8th, 2004 11:09 pm (UTC)
It just seemed a perfect challenge for an ensemble piece. Everyone got their say. Thanks!
Nebula: Ohanaauthoressnebula on November 8th, 2004 11:01 pm (UTC)
You owe me a Kleenex. *sniffles* It was beautiful. I loved seeing how you constructed things all together, brought about that happy ending. It was just...effulgent. Thank you.

darkhavensdarkhavens on November 8th, 2004 11:11 pm (UTC)
::passes you a kleenex:: *g*

Effulgent? Woo! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :o)
Kristintxrabbit on November 8th, 2004 11:19 pm (UTC)
So sweet.

These were lovely.
darkhavensdarkhavens on November 8th, 2004 11:47 pm (UTC)
Thanks, darlin'. :o)

Ameamejisuto on November 8th, 2004 11:45 pm (UTC)
Gads, this is so very good. You write such lovely drabbles.
darkhavensdarkhavens on November 8th, 2004 11:49 pm (UTC)
Thankee, sweets. I woke up with these bussing in my head. joy!
who said what now? - darkhavens on November 9th, 2004 12:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
saifai on November 9th, 2004 12:06 am (UTC)
*slowly puts down the pillow she was gonna throw* Phew. Scared me for a minute there. Was gonna have to beat you with a fluffly pillow. So sweet, and sad, and happy, and fluffy, and schmoopy, and angsty! *sobs*
darkhavensdarkhavens on November 9th, 2004 12:11 am (UTC)

Near-death by pillow! Close call there. *g*

I'm so glad you thought better of it once you saw I'd vamped Xander. Hee! And all that in one go? Woo! Thank you!
Lalkhamsin-khamsolalpiratepurple on November 9th, 2004 12:19 am (UTC)
*sniffle* That was close. But doesn't the gypsy curse mean they can't be together?
darkhavensdarkhavens on November 9th, 2004 12:26 am (UTC)
aaaaah, but the key phrase there is "The soul curse was successfully restructured". I figured Giles and Wes found a way to take the happy clause out. Or, alternatively, there's always the idea that just knowing that a moment of complete happiness would make you lose your soul would be enough to prevent you having such a moment.

And yes, very close. but I saveded him! Kinda...*g*
Gwydd: Spikesodoff {crackers4jenn}gwyddfid on November 9th, 2004 01:24 am (UTC)
Freakin hell, that was brilliant! I loved it.

Fantastic job!!
darkhavensdarkhavens on November 9th, 2004 01:34 am (UTC)
Thank you! :o)
starchaserstrchsr on November 9th, 2004 01:57 am (UTC)

darkhavensdarkhavens on November 9th, 2004 02:07 am (UTC)
^^^pets^^^ *g*
lokimorningstarlokimorningstar on November 9th, 2004 02:08 am (UTC)
*blink blink*
Wow...*is stunned*

Sweetie, that was awesome. *viciously steals your tissues*

I feel like such a hack all of a sudden. :-D

Loki M.
darkhavensdarkhavens on November 9th, 2004 02:14 am (UTC)
Re: *blink blink*
Hee! Thank you. :o)

And I always provide extra tissues when I do something like that. *g*

And hey, no self-putting-down allowed! Now get writing. :P
kat8cha on November 9th, 2004 02:29 am (UTC)
~weeps~ Yeah! ~wipes tears~ This was just soooo nice! And yet sad because Dead Xanny, but still cute!
darkhavensdarkhavens on November 9th, 2004 02:38 am (UTC)
Thank you! ::hands you a tissue::

Dunno why people keep crying. It's a happy ending, innit? *g*
who said what now? - kat8cha on November 9th, 2004 02:47 am (UTC) (Expand)
who said what now? - darkhavens on November 9th, 2004 02:50 am (UTC) (Expand)
yourlibrarianyourlibrarian on November 9th, 2004 03:43 am (UTC)
Some great lines in here!

and he's drowning himself in guilt because of it.

So Spike!

The planned surprise for one has caught them both.
darkhavensdarkhavens on November 9th, 2004 04:18 am (UTC)
So Spike!

Thank you! I always play my words through in his voice to see if they work. Sometimes I think he changes words while I'm not looking but, feh, I'm not arguing. It usually works. *g*