In celebration of this auspicious occasion, I decided that I should revisit my first love, Spander. I didn't quite manage porn, but there's sexin' in there, if you squint. ;)
Title: Five Things Xander Harris Gave Up After Getting Involved With Spike
Fandom: Pairing: Buffy: Spike/Xander
Concrit: Please. If you spot a typo or a grammar glitch, feel free to tell me in comments.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Summary: Some things are worth the sacrifice.
Notes: Written as part of my participation in mini_wrimo this year, and also for prompt #228 at slashthedrabble: 'Left'.
Five Things Xander Harris Gave Up After Getting Involved With Spike
1. His sanity. No, really. He's spent a lot of years telling Buffy she must have been crazy to get involved with Angel, and if there's one thing that Alexander LaVelle Harris isn't, it's a hypocrite.
But if sanity means not having Spike in his life and his bed, then sanity is most definitely over-rated. Just call him Xander the Crazy and let him get on with it.
He thinks he might begin to worry if his limited edition commemorative action figures start talking to him like the terrifying Miss Edith did to Dru, but unless – until? – that happens, he figures he's doing okay.
2. Control of the remote – any remote, including the ones for the TV, the DVR, the DVD player, the stereo… and the multi-function, twisting, thrusting vibrator that Spike brought home last month as a surprise.
It probably would have been less of a surprise if Spike had waited until Xander was awake before applying it, but, everything considered, it was a pleasant surprise.
3. Saturday morning cartoons. This was a close call, he’ll admit, maybe, if you ask him when Spike is a couple of miles outside of hearing distance, but he doesn't regret it.
He'd much rather spend the early hours of Saturday mornings being used as a human blanket by the vampire in his bed. He's not sure how Spike does it, but no matter how they're lying when they go to sleep, whether spooned or tangled up together somehow, Xander always seems to wake with Spike tucked almost completely underneath him, his face buried either in Xander's chest or the pillow, his hands and feet jammed into the pockets of warmth at Xander's armpits and between his knees.
Anyway, he can usually manage to get his hands on the DVR remote while Spike is either showering or touching up his roots (or his nails), so he can set it to record his favorite shows to watch while Spike is out winning baskets of kittens or Mastering the Hellmouth.
4. Garlic. Not because it's lethal to vampires; it's really not. But Spike claims he has sensitive taste buds, and apparently certain flavours can affect a person's taste more than others, like pineapple, cinnamon and mint.
Xander doesn't miss cauliflower at all, but he did love garlic bread with pizza.
He loves blowjobs more, though.
5. Growing Old. Oh, Spike hasn't said anything too obvious yet, but Xander knows it's just a matter of time. There was a grey hair in his pubes last week, not that he would have noticed if Spike hadn't yanked it out and waved it under his nose while looking angry and terrified by turns.
He's okay with the idea, really. He's been weighing up the pros and cons for quite a while now, and he knows that not losing Spike – not forcing Spike to lose him, one grey hair at a time – outweighs every other concern he could think of.
He's okay with losing everything else, so long as he gets to keep Spike.