Pairing: S/X of course
Rating: NC-17 for the mental images conjured up by the fourth drabble.
Spoilers: I really wish they'd done this on the show, but no...
Summary: Nobody in these drabbles actually eats any ice cream
How To Make A Spander Sundae
One Scoop of Cherry Vanilla
Xander stared blankly for a moment and then laughed.
“You’re kidding, right? Anya told you she thought I was gay? Why would she think that? Why would she tell you? Did she pay you to do this? Is this some kind of vengeancy thing? Spike, if this is you just trying to cause trouble, I’ll…”
“No trick, no trouble, no pay, Xander. She told me because she wanted to make sure she wasn’t leaving you completely alone. I’m supposed to be the one you really want to be with.”
“Dammit, I told her it was just a stupid dream, not…”
One Scoop of Cool Britannia
Spike watched as Xander squirmed, denied and tried to convince himself he was straight as an arrow. And while he watched, he sniffed and tasted the rush of pheromones in the air and sent a mental thank you to the lately departed Anya.
He really hadn’t expected her to turn up at his crypt, her suitcase in hand, with a favour to ask. He’d made her say it twice to make sure he wasn’t hearing things the first time round.
She’d told him Xander talked while he was sleeping, and every night the name he called in ecstasy was… Spike.
One Scoop of Pickle Me
“Getting me drunk wont make me gay, Spike,” intoned the whisky sodden human as he draped a friendly arm across the vampire’s shoulders. Spike nodded and allowed himself to be pulled into the clumsy one-armed hug.
“You brought the bottle over, Pet. I was just sitting here in my crypt when you turned up, quite unexpected.”
A careful nod, and Xander leaned in close to share a secret.
“It’s not that you’re not attractive, in a compact and muscular kind of way, but I’m not gay so it really doesn’t matter how pretty you are. I’m not gonna kiss you.”
One Scoop of Karamel Sutra
“Oh, yeah… Just there, Pet…”
“Spike, I’ve never… Oh! Oh, gods, yesss…”
“Lay back, luv, yeah, just like that. Now, let me… Oh, so tight, so hot, so eager…”
“Spike, I can’t… I can’t… I can’t… I… Ahhh! Oh, please, more…”
“Xan, lift your leg… Right there, yeah, and the other… Perfect, Pet. Now just relax and push…”
“Oh gods… Oh, Spike! I… I… Ahhh, ahhh, oh!”
And many hours later, when they’d finally decided that maybe Xander wasn’t quite as straight as he’d imagined, two bodies curled together under blankets meant for one.
“Now, tell me about these dreams…”
The ice creams used in the titles are Doc Wilson's Cherry Vanilla and Pickle Me, and Ben and Jerry's Cool Britannia (retired) and Karamel Sutra.