Title: Not Gonna Happen
Fandom: Pairing: Supernatural: Sam/Dean, possible allusions to Dean/Castiel (in the eye of the beholder)
Spoilers: General spoilers for the beginning of S4
Concrit: Please. If you spot a typo, feel free to tell me in comments.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Warnings/Squicks: Non-graphic wincestuous thoughts
Summary: There's something missing, and Sam doesn't know how to broach the subject.
Notes: Written for slashthedrabble prompt #186 'Fail', slashtheimage prompt #003 (see thumbnail at end of fic), and mini_wrimo day 8.
Not Gonna Happen
Sam can't stop looking at the handprint on Dean's shoulder where Castiel - an honest to God (no offence meant) angel - had reached down into the darkest pits of Hell and done what Sam, with all his bargaining and badgering and bloodshed, could not. He'd saved Dean; lifted him up into the light and got him breathing again; alive and energized, kicking ass and taking names. And yet…
Sam doesn't know if it's something he's done, or if something in Dean was maybe altered when the angel laid its hand on him. Did it stop at resurrection, or did it somehow erase the darker sins from Dean's soul, from his consciousness?
It's been weeks now, and Dean hasn't laid a single lustful finger on him. He hasn't flashed his fuck-me smile or turned the heat up with his bedroom eyes. Not by the flicker of an eyelash or a quirk of lips has he so much as hinted that he remembers fucking Sam until he screamed for release just hours before the hellhounds stole his life away.
Sam's… not entirely sure how to broach the subject.
"Apparently, the fact that you screwed me six ways from Sunday the night before that hell-bitch called your marker in has completely slipped your mind. I was just wondering - do you think you're in denial, or suffering from trauma-induced amnesia? Can you not forgive me for not being the one to save your ass? Because I could maybe accept and understand any one of those being the reason for those empty smiles. But if you've sworn to never touch me again as part of a deal with Castiel, that totally blows. And if it's somehow tidied away the worst of your mortal sins to make you worthy of the role it's pretty obviously grooming you to slot right into…"
Yeah. No, that's not a conversation he's ready to have just now. He may never be ready enough for that. It hasn't been that long, after all. It's only been a few weeks, and there's always the worrying possibility that it's PTSD-related. Sam totally doesn't want to go poking a stick into the hornet's nest of Dean's psyche without a damn good reason.
So he'll wait, and watch, and he'll be there when he can. But if Castiel thinks it's going to take Dean away from him now that he has him back…
Not gonna happen.
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Image by angelique at deviantART.
Mini-nanowrimo word count: 5021