darkhavens (darkhavens) wrote,

Fic: An Alphabet of Feelings, P-Z, 3/3, Spike/Xander, R

Author: darkhavens
Title: An Alphabet of Feelings, pt3: P-Z
Fandom: Pairing: Buffy: Spike/Xander
Rating: R for language
Words: 1100
Concrit: Please. If you spot a typo, feel free to tell me in comments.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Warnings/Squicks: Vamped!Xander
Summary: The last of three posts in a set of twenty six 'mood drabbles', one for each letter, in alphabetical order.
Notes: Written for fall_for_sx, and for mini_wrimo, day 4.
Previous chapters: A-F and G-O. My other baby!vamp!Xander drabbles (about 30,000 words so far), can be found here.

An Alphabet of Feelings, P-Z, (3/3)

P is for Playful

Xander bounced on his toes as his latest snack staggered from corner to corner of the badly lit alley Xander had chosen as his corral. Blood dripped lethargically from the thrice-bitten, masticated flesh below the man's chiselled jaw.

Humming happily, Xander edged closer to the wall on his left, and a ghost of a hope of escape sprung to life in his quarry's eyes. He watched, amused, as powerful thigh muscles bunched in preparation for a doomed headlong dash for freedom.

"Stop playing with your food, pet. We've got better things to do."

The food startled and ran. Xander pounced.

Q is for Queer

Sometimes they like to play the victims for a change of pace. They lure their prey in with perceived vulnerabilities, weaknesses; the equivalent of red rags to a bull. There are areas of every city, of every town, where the sight of two men walking hand in hand is easily enough to get them chased down and beaten, raped, stabbed, maybe even killed.

They always end their frantic flights in dark, deserted parks or empty, crumbling buildings; some place quiet, some place open. They let the hunters split them up and circle round, and then they strike.

They always win.

R is for Relentless

Xander doesn't shut up until Spike agrees they can go out for Hallowe'en. Later, Spike thinks it was maybe a mistake to choose Bayville Scream Park as their destination.

They enjoyed vamping out to the surprise of the 'zombies' and 'vampires' of Bloodworth Manor. Spike lost count of how often they'd been asked who did their makeup. Curse of the Zombie Pirates was a nice little stroll through the miniature golf course, where they could snack with impunity.

And then there was Uncle Needles' Funhouse of Fear.

In his defence, Spike hadn't known about Xander's rampant coulrophobia.

It got messy.

S is for Shaken

They know something powerful is happening, though they don't know what. They feel the magic crawl like ants across their skin when they venture out beyond their strengthened wards, and then it hits them.

It feels like Slayer, everywhere, and it lasts about a day before it fades to a dull tickle at the base of the skull which never quite leaves.

Spike is totally unprepared to step outside and find Xander fighting not just one but three identical girls, Slayer energy pouring from them all along with rage and confusion and bone-deep fear.

Spike almost doesn't react in time.

T is for Tortured

Spike wants to hunt down Willow, the vicious bitch, and make her pay for every slightest hint of pain she's caused his Xander as she keeps on trying to stick his soul back on. But he knows her power is growing again. He hears she smells of corruption, of sulphur and pitch, carelessly masked behind a tissue-thin white-witch gloss.

She's too strong and ill-tempered now to be near his boy, and he flatly refuses to consider leaving Xander behind, so instead he sends word to Angelus, knowing Dru will catch the scent and go a-hunting for her favorite little tree.

U is for Unstable

Spike believed that Xander had somehow escaped the 'curse' of Aurelius, the one that touches its victims in the head and leaves them slightly off-kilter, a step out of synch with the rest of the world.

And then he drinks down his first - and second - completely stoned hippy, and when the acid hits, Spike finds he's got another, admittedly less-crazed, seer on his hands.

"She used an axe, Spike, a huge shiiiiiny axe, to cut the Slayer line into itty bitty pieces. Tweedledee and Tweedledumber want to stick it back together, but they never will. The dolls are free now."

V is for Venal

It's amazing what people will happily fail to notice when you've got enough cash in your pocket to bankroll a South American coup and a habit of tossing around $50 bills like confetti.

They spend a week at the Waldorf Astoria, New York, New York, bankrolled by the late, unlamented Frederic Ziegler and his diamond collection. Dinner is delivered to their door every evening - a brace of pretty young things, clean and sweet-smelling, innocent but eager for what bounty they can earn up in this rarefied eyrie.

The same service disposes of the leftovers, for a small fee, of course.

W is for Wanted

It's there in every biting kiss and gentle brush of lips, in every greedy grasp and fragile fleeting touch. It's there whenever Spike looks Xander over from head to toe and then smiles, slow and sinful. It's there when Spike talks proudly of 'his boy' to friends and strangers alike.

But it's also there when he fucks it all up; when he loses control, or the car, or the money, or the last living witness to their latest escapade. It doesn't matter what he does, or if he does it wrong, Spike still wants him.

That want leaves him awed.

X is for Xenophilia

Halfway through a Sci-Fi marathon, Spike looks at Xander and, instead, sees Drusilla, his dark princess, the one who'd left him for a slime-and-antlers chaos demon.

His boy's always been attracted to the not-quite-human. Having a demon of his own just made his tastes more Catholic.

In B5, his favorite is G'Kar - "I'd lick the spots off him, any day." In Farscape it's D'Argo or Bialar Crais. In Star Wars, Han is still his hero, but he talks of Chewie's fur tickling while they fuck.

And then Spike blinks and it's Xander again, including Spike in every kinky little fantasy.

Y is for Young

Spike can't remember being as young and puppy-like as Xander when he was first turned. There's a reason for that.

He spent his time keeping track of Dru's dollies and her fancies, her fripperies and herself, beneath the watchful, vengeful eyes of queen bitch Darla and her preening pet Angelus.

The rules were written in blood across his lily-white skin; enforced with iron, with rawhide, with bone-deep agony. He knew exactly what they were, even as he broke them.

Xander vaguely understands there are rules. He trusts Spike to let him know if he skates too close to breaking them.

Z is for Zen

Spike knows he's always been viewed as a loose cannon by anyone who's known him more than a day or two. He knows he has a tendency to go off half-cocked, shooting himself in the foot and screwing up his carefully laid plans more often than not.

Xander has changed all that.

Oh, he's still wild and reckless. He's still prone to hair-brained schemes and flights of fancy, bouts of manic violence and gleeful destruction. But he really is more careful now. He has Xander to consider: his center, his heart, his Zen place amidst the fury of the world.


Thanks to entrenous88 for the suggestion of 'Venal' and shakatany for 'Xenophilia'.


Mini-nanowrimo word count: 2958

Tags: btvs:s/x:b!v!x, miscfic:mini-nano

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