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19 October 2008 @ 04:00 am
An Alphabet of Feelings, pt2: G-O, Spander,
Author: darkhavens
Title: An Alphabet of Feelings, pt2: G-O
Fandom: Pairing: Buffy: Spike/Xander
Rating: R for language
Words: 900
Concrit: Please. If you spot a typo, please feel free to tell me in comments.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Warnings/Squicks: Vamped!Xander and a casting spoiler for the new Star Trek movie.
Summary: The second of three posts in a set of twenty six 'mood drabbles', one for each letter, in alphabetical order.
Notes: Written for fall_for_sx.
Previous chapters: Pt1: A-F is here. My other baby!vamp!Xander drabbles (over 28,700 words so far), can be found here.

G is for Gross

Xander prodded the bags of blood lined up on the kitchen tabletop.

"Do I have to? Really? It's so…"

"Gross. I know, luv. We covered that with the 'eeeeew' and the gagging sounds you made when I told you what I was planning. And yes, you really do have to do this. You're not always going to be able to get the good stuff on tap; you need to be able to tell if the bagged shite is contaminated or too old or just plain 'off'. There's a bag of cow in there too, and one of dog. Start tasting."

H is for Helpless

Xander takes an unholy pleasure in tormenting some of the rougher specimens he picks from the smorgasbord of prey that passes obliviously through their lives. He's usually careful to remain unseen, but with these he lets himself dance just on the edge of being noticeable, on the edge of shadows, looming with intent. He'll take days, sometimes, stretching out his mark's last nerve until they snap and run.

There are moments when Spike wonders if he has a budding Angelus on his hands, but mostly he thinks he's stuck with a goofy, very vicious puppy. And he's okay with that.

I is for Insecure

Sometimes, when Xander is off doing other things and unlikely to come back to find his sire being maudlin, Spike thinks their shared insecurity might be the glue that holds the two of them so very tightly together. Oh, he'd deny it to his dusting day and so would Xander, but they each have a need for constant validation, reassurance, for blatant proof of love.

It amazes him how well they fit together, how similar they are. It terrifies him how easily they might have missed each other; Xander just another Happy Meal drained along the way, if not for…

J is for Jealous

Even with the soul glued on, his sire had seen something in Xander, something familiar that he knew would call to Spike. It actually explained a lot. Including how out of sorts Angelus had been when Drusilla wouldn't stop going on and on about losing her kitten with a sad and lonely poem for a face.

They'd known magic was involved somehow - nothing else could turn Dru against her Daddy like that - but when the spell was broken, she hadn't given up, just changed her tune slightly, begging now for Xander as a brother, not for herself but for Spike.

K is for Kindly

Xander may be the strangest vampire Spike has ever known. The Master was deluded, Angelus is a megalomaniac, Dru's insane, Darla was a real controlling bitch, and Penn was religiously psychotic, but Xander… Xander commits random acts of kindness for people he should rightly see as prey.

He picks up flowers and trinkets for the little old lady down the hall - says she reminds him of the grandmother he'd met just once, when he was a kid.

He opens doors for women, gives his loose change to the homeless on the street.

Spike despairs, even as his love grows stronger.

L is for Livid

"He was beating them, Spike! Look at them! They're covered in bruises. One of them's bleeding internally, I can smell it. The littlest has a broken leg; I heard the bone snap as I was passing by the house. I couldn't just leave them there."

Spike stared in disbelief at the tangled heap of skinny limbs and knitted throws on the sofa.

"You do remember that you're a vampire, don't you, pet? Or did I miss the part where you got bit by a rabid social worker?"


"I let you keep the kitten, Xander. You're not keeping the kids."

M is for Manic

The bouncing knee was a big clue, as was the way Xander was flip-flip-flipping through the TV channels almost too fast for the snow to clear on one before he was moving on.

"Xander, what have I told you about eating speed freaks?"

"That I shouldn't. And I didn't, Spike! No more junkies for the Xanman, you made that clear. Anyway, the comedowns sucked like a sucky thing."

The knee was still bouncing, the channels still zipping by.


Xander sighed. "The barista at Joe's criticized your hair."


"He tried to cut me off from the chocolate-coated coffee beans…"

N is for Nervous

"She's not going to freak, is she, Spike? I mean… I know she wanted me for herself when that whole love spell thing went wrong, and she even got rough with Angelus to keep him off my back. She's not going to hold a grudge about any of that, right? I know she's your dark princess and all, but Dru still scares the crap out of me."

Spike straightened Xander's collar and reeled him in for a short sharp kiss.

"You're family, luv. She won't do anything… terminal, won't even leave a scar if she breaks the skin."

"Wow. Reassuring!"

O is for Obscene

"How can they do this? It's obscene, Spike. They've got Sylar playing Spock, and you know they only cast him for those stupid funky eyebrows. Didn't they learn the lesson with 'Enterprise'? Messing with Star Trek history is a huge mistake, people can get rabid over shit like this!"

Xander thrust the latest copy of Entertainment Weekly at Spike, who decided silence was the best course of action. He gently eased the magazine out of Xander's white-knuckled grip and opened it at random.

"Hey, did you know about the new Stargate franchise?"

"Oh, don't even get me started on that!"



I am taking suggestions on the final three drabbles, as moods/feelings beginning X, Y and Z are rather hard to find. Be creative! If any take my fancy, I'll use them and credit whoever made the suggestion. :D
I am Derek's vocal eyebrows: al; c&c [me]literati on October 19th, 2008 03:11 am (UTC)
G really is gross. :P

I think my favourite would have to be M. ♥

I don't need to say more, right? :D
darkhavens: smoochdarkhavens on October 19th, 2008 03:13 am (UTC)
I think my favourite would have to be M. ♥

Well of course it would be, you caffeine junky! *g*


More is a-comin'! Got the rest of the alphabet to work through yet. :D
meaura_at_homemeaura_at_home on October 19th, 2008 03:13 am (UTC)
Xenophobic is a fear of strangers

Zest and Zeal

I found them here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emotions

I really can't wait for more. I love them all.
darkhavens: b!v!x [literati]darkhavens on October 19th, 2008 03:20 am (UTC)
Interesting list. Thanks!

And thank you. They're fun to write. :D
outsideth3box: BtVS Dark Xanderoutsideth3box on October 19th, 2008 03:31 am (UTC)
Oh yes! I love Spike's goofy, vicious puppy best, I think, *G*

Also "O"...Yeah. That.

Lovely work.
darkhavens: b!v!x [literati]darkhavens on November 3rd, 2008 04:47 am (UTC)
Thank you! :D

Goofy vicious puppies are such fun!
Mark Hunter: Thumbs Up Spikeozma914 on October 19th, 2008 04:26 am (UTC)
These are great! (And I'm with Xander on Star Trek)
darkhavens: b!v!x [literati]darkhavens on November 3rd, 2008 04:47 am (UTC)
It's an abomination, I tell you! *g*

Thank you :D
who said what now? - etaureau on July 1st, 2009 04:11 am (UTC) (Expand)
who said what now? - darkhavens on July 1st, 2009 01:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
tabaqui: s&xlettersbykatekat1010tabaqui on October 19th, 2008 04:34 am (UTC)
Oh, fun. I love that Xander is still *Xander*, just a little tweaked.
darkhavens: b!v!x [literati]darkhavens on November 3rd, 2008 04:48 am (UTC)
I love tweaking Xander almost as much as Spike does. *g*

Trixxanna: * Double fuck bangtrixxanna on October 19th, 2008 04:53 am (UTC)
I learns my ABC's with sexy vamps
Love them all and I am right there with the Xan man in O, M, L but for all the squick it could bring I side with Spike on G.

Who could deny K *pinches Xan's vampy cheeks*
darkhavens: b!v!x [literati]darkhavens on November 3rd, 2008 04:51 am (UTC)
Re: I learns my ABC's with sexy vamps
Thank you! :D
S: RAWR!startiller on October 19th, 2008 06:45 am (UTC)
ROFL O's hilarious! I scream each time I think of Sylar as Spock. Not b/c he's Spock but b/c he's Sylar.
darkhavens: b!v!x [literati]darkhavens on November 3rd, 2008 04:54 am (UTC)
Thank you!

He really is Sylar, but then, Michael C Hall was 'the gay undertaker' to me (from Six Feet Under), no matter what he was in, right up until I watched the pilot of Dexter, and now he is definitely 100% Dexter. We can only hope Sylar becomes Spock. (Hope and maybe drink lots of alcohol to numb the pain...)
jasonsnene: Spander_shagnow?jasonsnene on October 19th, 2008 08:23 am (UTC)
These are awesome! Enjoyed them all. Got a little schmoopy on K. :D
darkhavens: b!v!x [literati]darkhavens on November 3rd, 2008 04:55 am (UTC)
Thank you!

Baby!vamp!Xander approves of the occasional scoop of schmoop along with all the blood and guts. Keeps life interesting. *g*
bmblbeebmblbee on October 19th, 2008 09:01 am (UTC)
Really excellent. Hoovering on the edge of dark, but still pulled back in time to be 'Xander'.

Can't wait for the next lot.
darkhavens: b!v!x [literati]darkhavens on November 3rd, 2008 04:57 am (UTC)
Thank you!

Devo79devo79 on October 19th, 2008 09:06 am (UTC)
LOL, oh I really love these =)
darkhavens: b!v!x [literati]darkhavens on November 3rd, 2008 04:57 am (UTC)
Thanks :D
mysticsoblivion on October 19th, 2008 10:59 am (UTC)
Oh gods these were wonderful!!!!!! Mys'd have to say L, M, and O were her favourites from this batch. *bounces*

How 'bout 'Yearning' for Y?
darkhavens: b!v!x [literati]darkhavens on November 3rd, 2008 04:58 am (UTC)
Thank you! :D

*makes note of 'yearning' as a possibility. :D
shakatany: Ros Denham iconshakatany on October 19th, 2008 06:24 pm (UTC)
Oh, he'd deny it to his dusting day Lovely turn of phrase *g*

Like these and can barely wait for th e rest of them.


PS Someone already suggested xenophobia but there's also its opposite xenophilia. Perhaps Spike dresses up as Spock to get Xander's mind off Sylar. Gotta love those aliens.
darkhavens: b!v!x [literati]darkhavens on November 3rd, 2008 05:01 am (UTC)
Ooh, Xenophilia. I like that idea, though that might be more Dru's fetish. We shall see. *g*

Lovely turn of phrase *g*

Thanks! I was actually halfway through typing ' to his dying day' when I realised it wasn't entirely appropriate, so I tweaked it. :D
windandsummer on October 19th, 2008 11:46 pm (UTC)
These are so amazing, and so very them. I love this version of vamp Xander, thanks for sharing.~Bee
darkhavens: b!v!x [literati]darkhavens on November 3rd, 2008 05:03 am (UTC)
Thank you!

I took my cues from Dru and Spike, both definitely unique in the vampire world, and decided that a third generation would have to be at least as quirky as them. *g*
and then we lit it on fire: mine's biggerelectricalgwen on October 20th, 2008 02:13 am (UTC)
"I let you keep the kitten, Xander. You're not keeping the kids."

Bwah! Many great lines here, but that really made me chuckle - I could just hear Spike saying it.

Um. How about xenophobic, yawning, and zany? :)
darkhavens: b!v!x [literati]darkhavens on November 3rd, 2008 05:04 am (UTC)
Thanks! You know there would be an eyeroll as he said it, too. *g*

Oooh, Zany is definitely a contender. Thanks!
(Deleted comment)
darkhavens: b!v!x [literati]darkhavens on November 3rd, 2008 05:04 am (UTC)
Thank you! :D