Pairing: Spike and Xander
Disclaimer: Never mine, never will be. No money made, no harm intended.
A/N 1: There are 14 drabbles behind this cut, just thought I ought to warn you. ;o)
A/N 2: There were too many wonderful titles. I went through the list and chose the ones I liked. That gave me a list of 104. Then I went through that list and wrote down a note or two next to the ones that fitted best into the story that was growing in my head. That left me with 57. Then I put them in story order and wondered how the hell I was going to write so many drabbles. And how could I possibly leave any out? And so I combined some titles together in one drabble, and skipped over some. One day I might go back and expand the parts I condensed because I know there's more story in there that could come out, but for now this is it...
Never Get Old
01. Ashes To Ashes
Spike regretted many things as he stood there waiting to die... again. But in true Spike fashion, the things he was sorry about the most were the things he never got to do.
He'd thought he'd have more time, what with being undead and all. There were places he'd wanted to go, things he'd wanted to do... people he'd wanted to fuck.
He'd always planned on taking Harris up on all those signals the boy had been sending his way, but like a fool he'd been waiting for the boy to realise he wasn't quite as straight as he thought.
02. As The World Falls Down
Everything was gone. Everything. There was just one big, gaping hole where once there was Sunnydale. The earth had taken his home, his life, his love, and swallowed them whole. Hadn't even bothered to spit up the bones, just ground them all to dust.
That's what Xander could see from the back window of the bus, billowing up to obscure vision and choke lungs. Dust. And ash. A hundred thousand vampires he was glad to see the back of. And Spike.
And suddenly that hurt was almost equal to the death of Anya.
The loss of what might have been.
03. African Night Flight; Unwashed And Somewhat Slightly Dazed
Xander had just convinced a tribal leader that his twin daughters were not demons when his backpack rang and nearly got him killed. It was Andrew, on the satellite phone that was strictly for emergencies, and evening emails home. Two hours later he was on a midnight freight flight down to Cape Town. Three connecting flights and one indecent proposition later he touched down at LAX and finally realised he had no clue what he was actually planning to do now he was here. Should he just casually walk into that huge lawyers' nest and ask to see the prodigal?
04. Looking For A Friend
"Excuse me, Miss, I'm looking for a friend, his name is..."
"Xander Harris? Oh. My. God! It is! It's you! You came to see a friend? I didn't know you had friends. Here, I mean."
So, it hadn't worked out quite the way he'd 'planned' it on the taxi ride from hell, but at least with Harmony as his guide he didn't have to try and make conversation. Now she really didn't have to take a breath there was no stopping her.
"...and so Angel gave me this job and there's a dental plan and everything... Oh, Spike's in here."
05. Night Clubbing
"Spike wont be back till later."
Eventually Xander found someone who knew, or cared, where Spike had wandered off to. He also got directions to a halfway decent hotel, where he showered and shaved and spent an hour deciding what to wear.
And when he hit the dance floor, in a pair of skin-tight denims and a tee you could read newsprint through, he prayed to every god he knew to stop his nerve from failing and to let him get this right, just once, without him ending up the clown or fool or fall guy...
06. Pretty Thing; Baby Can Dance
"Well, don't you look just edible, Pet. Might fancy a nibble meself..."
And there it was. No 'how are you doing?' or 'why are you here?' for Spike, oh no. Such things were for the lesser beings, while he focused on the more important things in life.
And as Xander followed the music, Spike followed Xander. A brush of hand on thigh, a nudge of hip to groin, and finally one hand came up to curve around his nape, the other round his waist, and Xander wished the night would never end.
"Coming back to mine, or what?"
07. Let's Spend The Night Together; Let Me Sleep Beside You; Lover To The Dawn
They didn't kiss until they reached the bedroom. Then once they started, oh, they could not stop. Hands and lips and teeth and tongues pitched battle, clothes were seen as enemies to rout. Then naked, on the bed, and still they tussled; rolling, pinning, arching, holding on. And when the sex was over, heart rate settled, then Xander knew the time had come to talk. But cowardice took over, held him silent, and so Spike smoked and then began anew. Eventually, they slept entwined, unconscious.
But Xander woke at dawn to hear the snicking of the doorlock as Spike left.
08. I'm Not Losing Sleep; A New Career In A New Town
It had only been a year, not long, not really. He just hadn't quite got used to this new town. That's the only reason he had trouble sleeping, not a thing to do with undead vampire losers sneaking out, avoiding conversations years overdue. That had hurt, he could admit it, but that pain was just a faded memory. Pretty soon he'd be so deep in work he'd sleep wherever he could rest his head. And that was good, because it meant that he had finally moved on, or so he thought. He tried so hard to truly make it work.
09. Amsterdam; Can't Help Thinking About Me
He's waiting for a taxi in the rain when he hears that voice beside him asking roughly if he fancies one last beer. His vocal skills have left him so he nods and follows Spike into the club, and through and out another door into the back, where they have rooms to rent by increment. He hears Spike say one hour and suddenly his larynx works and "Two," and the deal is set.
And afterwards, as Spike is getting dressed he looks across at Xander.
"You shouldn't have run, Pet. You can't escape. I'm in your head."
And Xander flees.
10. Algeria Touchshriek; Backed A Loser
Two years on, he's in Algeria when a hand lands on his shoulder in a bar. He doesn't even turn to see whose hand it is, he knows, accepts and follows.
Three days those slender fingers hold him prisoner in a bed, and wring such sounds of ecstasy from him he'd never known that he could make. And when they let him speak he asks why him? The one-eyed carpenter. The Zeppo. Why choose to toy with him like this, when Spike could so very easily set the world on fire.
In saddened tones, "I see you're still not ready."
11. The Loneliest Guy; New York's In Love; Fall In Love With Me
One single month in New York, and everyone he knows is 'so in love' it makes him sick. He's best off by himself, he knows, why can't they take a hint and let him be?
And suddenly Spike's back, but not for sex this time, he's... courting? And his colleagues think it's sweet when flowers and candy start arriving at the office. The troubadour went down a screaming treat with all the office girls, the song he sang so detailed that he knew at once who'd penned the awful rhyme.
Xander felt the deadened heart inside him start to twitch...
12. Telling Lies; Sixteen; You've Got A Habit Of Leaving; Slow Burn
“I wish you’d leave.”
“I wish you’d leave me alone.”
“I don’t know why you keep doing this to me.”
The words tasted sour on Xander’s tongue, but Spike just smiled and shook his head and fed him yet another strawberry dipped in chocolate.
“I’ve known you quite a while now, Pet. You’re lying to yourself and that hurts us both. You need to make a choice, decide, and stop your bloody running, it’s getting old. The time I’m spending chasing you is time that could be better spent in bed. Five years is long enough to play the tease.”
13. The Passenger; It’s No Game; If I'm Dreaming My Life
This time, when Xander goes to run, Spike’s waiting in the car, just like he’d hoped.
“I told you I’m not chasing any more, I’m coming with.”
“I’m serious, I’m after you for keeps. We fit, we do.”
Xander drives, and Spike directs, and talks of many things. Of Dru, of what they’ll do, of where they’ll go, and who they’ll see. Of things long past, of family, of how it’s going to be.
And Xander keeps on driving, keeps on listening, and prays with everything that’s in him, if he’s dreaming, please don’t let him wake and be alone.
Also includes Lady Stardust; Brilliant Adventure; Fantastic Voyage; A Foggy Day In London; Rupert the Riley; Memory Of A Free Festival; Cat People; The Pretty Things Are Going To Hell.
14. Five Years; My Death; Join The Gang; Never Get Old
Five years on, decision made, the Orb and spell were ready. ‘Cause cancer bit, though they caught it quick, but the scare was just too great. And so the house Aurelius moves on, into the future; another family member joins the fold.
Spike and Xander revel in forever talk and both ignore the rules of Sire and Childer etiquette. And though his soul is horrified, Angelus is so happy that his sweet Will has a get, though he must admit the choice he made was bold.
And Dru just twirls and claims she knew ‘twas so right from the first.