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09 November 2007 @ 07:47 am
Fic: Therapy Sessions, Spike/Xander
Author: darkhavens
Title: Therapy Sessions
fandom: Pairing: Buffy: Spike/Xander
Rating: R
Words: 3x100
Concrit: darkhavens @ slashverse.com. If you spot a typo, please feel free to tell me in comments. I want you to!
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Warnings/Squicks: vamp!Xander, clowns, shopping for bed linen.
Summary: baby!vamp!Xander still has nightmares. Spike helps him cope.
Notes: These can be read as a standalone set of drabbles, but are also a part of the baby!vamp!Xander 'verse. Written for mini_wrimo day 8, and also for my Spander Big Damn Table.

47. Feathers

Xander woke to a mouthful of feathers, and strips of expensive cotton wedged between his fangs like shredded skin. The scratchy tickle at the back of his throat had him hacking so hard he was sure he resembled Seven when she'd coughed up her first kitten-sized hairball.

The heap of quilts beside him rippled and heaved before finally giving way to Spike's half-hearted struggles. Eventually he emerged, rumpled and bleary-eyed, to watch Xander spitting up duck down and picking six-hundred thread count Egyptian cotton from between his teeth.

"Another nightmare? What was it this time?"

Xander pouted.

"The clown again."

60. Paint

"Trust me, luv, this'll work, and if it doesn't, well, you've got to eat anyway, right?"

Xander watched from the doorway as Spike dabbed white facepaint around the mouth of the unconscious snackpack on the motel bed.

"One final touch," - Spike tugged a curly orange wig into place - "aaaaaand, I'm done." He checked over his shoulder to see how Xander was doing. "Just a bloke off the street in some cheap slap and a funny wig, Xan, yeah? Not a thing worth fretting about. Now get your pretty arse over here and grab a bite, before the wanker comes round."

58. Cotton

Spike took a last long draught of sales clerk and turned to see what monstrosity Xander had chosen this time. Each one seemed worse than the last.

"What are they, silk? You ever tried to fuck on silk sheets, luv? There's no bloody traction with 'em, you end up sliding off the bed mid-shag." He let his dinner drop to the floor behind the counter and vaulted over. "None of that polyester shite either, with its static cling. We want-"

"Egyptian cotton, high thread count, nothing with superheroes on," Xander recited along with him. "I know th- Ooh! Body pillows!"

mini_nanowrimo running total: 3490 words

feeling: hungryhungry
katbcollkatbcoll on November 9th, 2007 08:05 am (UTC)
"Egyptian cotton, high thread count, nothing with superheroes on," Xander recited along with him. "I know th- Ooh! Body pillows!"
*cracks up* Baby!Vamp!Xander with ADHD! *dies*
darkhavens: b!v!x [literati]darkhavens on November 9th, 2007 08:11 am (UTC)
The perfect diagnosis. *g*

He's so much fun to play with. He's dorky and goofy and totally psychotic. What's not to love? ;)
outsideth3box: Subway Spike Dolloutsideth3box on November 9th, 2007 08:26 am (UTC)
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! I hate clowns! Soooo creepy...

Love these, though. What a treat to find new baby!vamp!Xander bits, YAY!

Sire!Spike is as sweet to his boy as ever, trying to fix the all the owies, what a good daddy.
Nicole: Spike/Dru/Xander - Foreverblue_icy_rose on November 9th, 2007 08:36 am (UTC)
*bounces* It feels like it's been forever and a day since I've seen baby!vamp!Xander! Hee. Of course, I could say the same for Spander in general.

Good for Spike and helping Xander with his fear of clowns. Now every single time I see a clown, I'm going to just try my own form of therapy. Imagining baby!vamp!Xander running out and jumping on him. *nods* Or something. Because clowns are freaking scary.

Loved them all! :D
Vviciouscats on November 9th, 2007 09:49 am (UTC)
Lovely! :)
mysticsoblivion on November 9th, 2007 10:26 am (UTC)
LMAO! Oh, poor Xan, oh gods... can I make gratuitous 'down in the mouth' jokes now, lol?

"I know th- Ooh! Body pillows!" and ppl say it's Spike who's the posterhild for ADHD vamps!

Beautiful as always dear! *bows before the master*
mysticsoblivion on November 9th, 2007 06:02 pm (UTC)
ermph... that's supposed to be "posterCHILD"
*mutters about her inability to spell while laughing*
your royal pie-nessentrenous88 on November 9th, 2007 11:59 am (UTC)
Awwww! I like Spike educating Xander on the finer things (and best sheets to have sex on, of course)!
tabaquitabaqui on November 9th, 2007 12:30 pm (UTC)
And fucking *yes*. In theory, silk sheets are neat. In actual fact, they suck.
dancetomato on November 9th, 2007 01:41 pm (UTC)
You make murderous vampires so endearing! I love Xander with a mouthful of down comforter.
brunettepetbrunettepet on November 9th, 2007 04:58 pm (UTC)
Spike trying to cure Xan's nightmares is so touching and funny. I love the phrase "unconscious snackpack" for the hapless victim.

These psychotic killers are delightful.
it only burns when I breathe: spike&xander_spikeandxander_sixteenth_tispikedluv on November 9th, 2007 07:29 pm (UTC)
*snorfle* Hee, nightmares about clowns (and what a good daddy Spike is to help Xander get over his fear *g*) and body pillows!
yanagi_wayanagi_wa on November 9th, 2007 10:48 pm (UTC)
*snicker* great stuff.
Kristin: Blowback by Darkhavenstxrabbit on November 9th, 2007 10:56 pm (UTC)
I love, love, love baby!vamp!xander!!

My favorite! Love you!
twistedsister4u: Spiketwistedsister4u on November 10th, 2007 01:19 am (UTC)
This is the first time I've come across your baby!vamp!Xander 'verse. I went to the beginning and read them all in the order posted.

I have one request. More?
Maz: Dovethismaz on November 10th, 2007 05:55 am (UTC)
I love the image of a vampire having nightmares (daymares?) about clowns.
And Spike's desensitisation therapy *g* but the idea that Spike still has to specify nothing with superheroes on *Laughs* That's great fun. Thanks.
Ditto: AWMPstretfordditto on November 11th, 2007 09:58 am (UTC)

Exquisitely funny. :D
~Alice~vinniebatman on November 11th, 2007 08:18 pm (UTC)
Hee hee, I loved these.
Even as a vampire, Xander is still so Xandery.
I loved them all
niccy07niccy07 on November 19th, 2007 07:43 am (UTC)
Ahahaha. Spastic Xander is funny. Hehe *loves but pets him from a distance*
beetle: Hee!_beetle_ on November 17th, 2008 07:39 am (UTC)
If only all vampires feared clowns so. . . .