11 October 2006 @ 01:42 am
'A United Front', 1/1, R, McKay/Sheppard
Author: darkhavens
Title: A United Front 1/1
Pairing: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard (and a hint of Jack/Daniel)
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Prompt: #024 Choices in my slash_100 Big Damn McShep Table
Rating: R
Words: 1446
Spoilers: None
Feedback/Concrit: darkhavens @ slashverse.com
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Summary: A few years into the future, a promotion and a new Equality Bill. But no Ferrari.
Notes: Written for a_phoenixdragon.

A United Front

Rodney turned on his heel at the corner of the hotel bed and paced - one, two, three, four, five, six, seven steps - back towards the door and then turn and back he went again, for the hundredth time. Or at least that's how it seemed to John.

"Dammit, you know as well as I do that this whole new 'gay-friendly' act is a front, and not even a particularly clever one at that."

Rodney reached the corner of the bed, pausing just long enough for John to get his hopes up before turning once again to resume his pacing. "Oh, I'm sure it's fine for your average future grunt to wear a Gay Pride shirt to the recruitment office, but for long time officers to step out of the military closet it's another thing entirely, and don't you dare try and tell me otherwise."

There was blessed silence as he completed two more lengths of the room, and then he thrust out a finger and waggled it threateningly in John's direction. "I won't let you torpedo your career just so you can rub their bigoted noses in the fact that the CO of Atlantis is queer!"

Okay, that was further than John was willing to let him go.


Rodney turned mid-pace and dropped heavily onto the foot of the bed, almost bouncing John off onto the floor. John rode out the turbulence and then tilted sideways until his shoulder connected with Rodney's.

"Hey." This time John didn't shout, but the tone of his voice captured Rodney's attention.

With a sigh, Rodney twisted slightly to rest his forehead on John's shoulder.

"I- I'm sorry, but I can't bite my tongue all evening while a bunch of military assholes act like you're a disgrace to the uniform for enjoying cock. By the end of the night you'd either be on your way to Leavenworth under guard or facing dishonorable discharge, and I'd be in a sub-sub-sub-sub-basement somewhere way beyond top secret, and this time they'd never let me out."

"Huh." Jon looked thoughtful. "So, this is all about you protecting my honor?"

John bumped his elbow into Rodney's ribs as he twisted around and beneath him, lowering them both to lie crookedly across the unmade bed.

"Rodney McKay," he whined nasally, "you're my hero."

Rodney hummed and squirmed about until he was comfortably straddling one of John's thighs.

"Yes, well, I might have guessed you'd be a fan of that movie. I bet you nearly swallowed your tongue when they trashed the car."

John blinked innocently. He was admitting nothing.

"You wanted to be the parking garage attendant, didn't you? Forget dining like kings or getting the girl or singing in the parade - you wanted to be the guy putting all those miles on the clock."

A slow bump and grind of hips had John not caring just how well Rodney seemed to read his every thought.

"If you manage to get through tomorrow night's dinner without outing us, I'll buy you a Ferrari."

Sliding his hands down Rodney's back to cup his ass, John lifted his head to steal a fast, sloppy kiss.

"Do you have any idea how long the waiting list is for a Ferrari?"

Fingers busy with the buttons of John's shirt, Rodney shrugged. "I don't-"

"Two years. Two years, Rodney. We're only here for a couple of weeks and then who knows when we'll next be Earthside. It's a sweet idea, but…"

Rodney huffed indignantly and let go of John's half unbuttoned shirt, planting his hands in the mattress beside John's hips to lever himself up to gain a better, more imperious angle for his glare.

"You don't think I can get you a Ferrari by tomorrow night?"

The new position brought their groins into even closer contact, and John groaned, his fingers curling tighter around Rodney's ass.

"It's not that, I…"

John could see the prospect of immediate sexual gratification fading in the face of a full-on Rodney McKay snit, so he changed tactics, turning on his most seductive pout.

"I'd rather you were sitting beside me at dinner and not off waving obscene amounts of money under a stranger's nose."

"You just don't think I can-"

"Rodney, I don't need a Ferrari. What I need is to have you sitting beside me, keeping me entertained through all those long, boring speeches and unfunny jokes."

Rodney still didn't look convinced. John sighed.

"I'm not chewing my way through government issue rubber chicken without you, Rodney. If you're not coming with me, I'm not going."

"You - you can't be serious. This is your career, John. This is Atlantis, the Pegasus galaxy, the SGC, the President. You can't risk all that for-"

"For you? Oddly enough it stopped being about you around the fourth time I had to explain that yes, I knew the seating arrangements weren't designed to seat old team mates together and that I wanted you sitting beside me for purely personal reasons."

The solid feel of Rodney's weight pressing down on him kept John grounded, muting the re-emergence of the fury he had felt at being transferred from phone to phone for three solid hours.

"Every time I said you were my partner I got transferred to someone else who'd ask me the same damn questions all over again. One jackass even asked me if I realised the President would be there, like Hayes had signed the True Equality Bill into law without bothering to read it first."

Rodney snorted and lowered himself back down so that his nose was barely an inch away from John's.

"And the more they gave you the run-around, the more determined you were to have me sitting by your side like a good little trophy wife."

Rodney ignored John's stunned - horrified - expression.

"How did you finally get the monkeys in charge to take you seriously?"

"I called General O'Neill."

Rodney's eyebrows headed north.

"And he helped?"

"Once he stopped laughing, sure. Now he's got us sitting at one of the top tables, with him and Dr Jackson - a united front, I think he said. A crazy General and a full bird Colonel, each with their own trained-to-kill pet scientist. His words," he added at the incensed look on Rodney's face. "I think he's looking forward to causing some trouble. They don't let him out to play too often anymore."

Transferring his weight to one hand, Rodney began to unbutton them both from neck to groin with absent efficiency.

"So, you're really not putting your continued presence in Atlantis at risk for me?"

"Uh… No?"

The fingers in close proximity to his rapidly hardening cock had John a little off-balance, but he was fairly sure that that was the correct answer and not one likely to leave him once again hanging in the wind.

Rodney's soft sigh told him he'd got it right.

"Thank God for that."

John's relief at ending the discussion was abruptly curtailed.

"But you know I'd come up with a way to get you back to Atlantis even if they fired your skinny, full bird ass, don't you, Colonel? I know more about the gadgets at Area 51 than I did when I worked there, and I know they haven't changed the security system at all since I left, so, if I had to, I could probably rig us personal cloaking devices and get us back under the mountain without tripping an alarm. And, of course, I brought along the portable DHD I had to put together for MPX-523 last year, so we'd have a way of dialling home without having to take the control room too."

John blinked, slightly stunned.

"Just how many contingency plans do you have in place? Is Radek going to stage a coup if we don't get home on time?"

The shifty expression on Rodney's face answered for him.

"You… No, there's no way Radek would ever go up against Elizabeth to take control of the city, not even for you."

A smug little smile twitched the corner of Rodney's mouth.

"Who says Elizabeth isn't in on the plan? She learned the lesson well, John, we all did - leave no man behind. Not going home isn't an option."

The final button gave beneath Rodney's questing fingers and suddenly they were skin to skin and hungry for more. The conversation was dropped in favour of getting naked - clothes peeled away and tossed in a familiar routine, choreographed through years of easy cooperation.

As John readied himself to slide home he leaned forward and whispered in Rodney's ear.

"You were kidding about the coup though, right?"

Rodney grinned.

feeling: accomplishedaccomplished
I am Derek's vocal eyebrows: hp; sttkm [me]literati on October 11th, 2006 12:46 am (UTC)

Bueller.. Bueller..

Love it! :D
darkhavens: mcshep drrrty boys [literati]darkhavens on October 17th, 2006 03:57 am (UTC)
Hee! Thankee, sweetie! :D

^^^pets my Australian Ferris DVD^^^ 8smooch*
Melmellyna on October 11th, 2006 12:57 am (UTC)
This was great, I would love to have seen the actual dinner scene, with O'Neill and Jackson. A lovely little scene none the less. Thanks for sharing.

I also have this vision of Radak and Elizabeth counting down the hours until their home :)
darkhavens: rodney adorkable [literati]darkhavens on October 17th, 2006 04:09 am (UTC)
The dinner scene may yet turn up - I'm beginning to hear snatches of dialogue and that's always a good sign. *g*

Radek and Elizabeth want the terrible twosome back home where they belong - where they can keep an eye on them. ;)
AwHumanityNomiasnape on October 11th, 2006 01:20 am (UTC)
80s movie references and Zelenka staging a coup. *hugs fic to chest*
I'm having an awfully fun time imagining their table at the dinner now.
Very funny, nice and steamy, and wonderfully sweet under it all.
darkhavens: shep bad ass [literati]darkhavens on October 17th, 2006 04:14 am (UTC)
The Ferris Bueller quote was entirely John's idea, I swear. I was just going for a generic 'You're my hero', but he had other ideas. And damn, but it worked so well!

You know he was just about in tears when that car died. *g*

Tazzles: smirky johntazzles on October 11th, 2006 01:55 am (UTC)
Awesome! Love Rodney, ready to get into a snit in the middle of foreplay. Lovely.
darkhavens: rodney are you wearing it major [literatdarkhavens on October 17th, 2006 04:15 am (UTC)

I'm sure that Rodney always has at least one snit brewing at any given time, but he never lets it get in the way of sex. *g*
cleitocleito on October 11th, 2006 02:03 am (UTC)
A crazy General and a full bird Colonel, each with their own trained-to-kill pet scientist.

Okay, now I want a story where Rodney and Daniel have to rescue John and Jack from... the Trust? Are they still around? I can just see it, Gen. O'Neill and Col. Sheppard get grabbed because they're the strongest ATA gene carriers, and it's up to Jackson and McKay to save them. Then they run off to Atlantis where it's safe (if you ignore the Wraith, the Genii, the Replicators, and all those pesky still-alive Ancients that are running amok).
(Deleted comment)
who said what now? - darkhavens on October 17th, 2006 05:58 am (UTC) (Expand)
who said what now? - darkhavens on October 17th, 2006 04:23 am (UTC) (Expand)
melaganmelagan on October 11th, 2006 02:43 am (UTC)
I don't even know where to start with the worship....somewhere around the 'Jack's united front all the way through to Radek's coup' maybe? Because contingency plans ? omg I love the idea of Rodney's contingency plans.

darkhavens: rodney oh please! [literati]darkhavens on October 17th, 2006 04:42 am (UTC)
Thank you!

I bet Rodney has contingency plans for when the vontingency plans go wrong. He's getting them back to Atlantis if he has to hijack an Asgard ship to do it. *g*
What, does he wanna date me or kill me?: Rodney & Johnkrysalys on October 11th, 2006 02:46 am (UTC)
Oh yeah, you got Jack's "voice" down perfectly, too. And *snorfle*, it's not like Rodney needed much training in the "I can kill you in a 1000 different ways without ever breaking a sweat or interrupting my experiments" category.
And oh hell yeah... Radek and Rodney are like the Evil Twins - hasn't the military learned yet that you never pair two wickedly brilliant scientists together who have equally wicked and sharp senses of humor?
Wonderful job as always, love.
darkhavens: rodney who's sleeping w john [literati]darkhavens on October 17th, 2006 05:10 am (UTC)
Re: *sniggering*
Thank you!

I think Radek just wants Rodney back in charge of the science dept so that he can get back to the more important work of preventing his still from exploding. *g*

Night Springnightspring on October 11th, 2006 03:25 am (UTC)
I second the person who wants to see that dinner scene -- Jack, Daniel, John and Rodney together at a table at a formal dinner! There's just no way the evening could pass without some kind of incident!
darkhavens: rodney reluctant hero [literati]darkhavens on October 17th, 2006 05:12 am (UTC)
I'm already starting to hear dialogue - mostly Rodney belittling the people who keep looking at their table, but there's a bit of Jack and Daniel in there too. If they keep going like this I'll have to write it, just to shut them up. *g*

(Anonymous) on October 11th, 2006 03:32 am (UTC)
That was lovely, but there must of been technical difficulties. I think only part 1 was posted? Where's the dinner party? Surely there's a situation where the "pets" have to rescue the flyboys? Maybe Radek or Elizabeth miscount and kick-off the coup early?

Seriously, very nicely done. In case you couldn't tell, the story was so well done that I want more!! :-)
darkhavensdarkhavens on October 17th, 2006 05:13 am (UTC)
Re: Wonderful!
Thank you!

There may yet be more of this. that dinner scene is starting to coalesce in my head. :D
kitty_poker1: Castalia-RodneyMcKay-snerkkitty_poker1 on October 11th, 2006 03:46 am (UTC)
Got to love Rodney with a full, and very verbal, snit on. He never forgets his priorities, though. Get John naked, now. As it should be. *g*

darkhavens: mcshep in trouble again [literati]darkhavens on October 17th, 2006 05:14 am (UTC)
Of course! Rodney learned to multitask at an early age and he sees no reason why a snit should distract him from sex, expecially sex with John! :D

Thanks, sweetie.
tabaqui: geeksbyliteratitabaqui on October 11th, 2006 06:09 am (UTC)
Ooh, yis. Trained to kill and/or talk to death.
Dude - so fun!
darkhavens: rodney reluctant hero [literati]darkhavens on October 17th, 2006 05:16 am (UTC)
That's definitely an 'and' not an 'or' situation. There's no way Rodney would shut up long enough to do the dramatic silent kill type thing. :D

(Deleted comment)
darkhavensdarkhavens on October 17th, 2006 05:16 am (UTC)
Thank you! :D
seikaitsukimizuseikaitsukimizu on October 11th, 2006 06:41 am (UTC)
Kee! Sweet and funny and now I really wanna see how that dinner turns out because, you know...between Jack and John and Rodney's snide comments and Daniel trying to play peacemaker....oi!
darkhavens: mcshep look of love [literati]darkhavens on October 17th, 2006 05:18 am (UTC)
Thank you! :D

That scene is getting closer to being written every day. Rodney is muttering diabolical things about the people who keep turning to look at them seated at their table and Daniel can see trouble brewing in Jack's smile. *g*
Virtual Personal: AtlantisShepardFlyboy - Starbuck92virtualpersonal on October 11th, 2006 07:18 am (UTC)
I really enjoyed this. Loved John calculating his answers to maximize the chance of getting sex, heee!
darkhavens: shep bad ass [literati]darkhavens on October 17th, 2006 05:20 am (UTC)
He's been with Rodney long enough to know how not to set him off. *g*

Xandri the Gate-pirate: McShep - he did it.xandri on October 11th, 2006 09:02 am (UTC)
"A crazy General and a full bird Colonel, each with their own trained-to-kill pet scientist. His words," he added at the incensed look on Rodney's face. "I think he's looking forward to causing some trouble. They don't let him out to play too often anymore."

<3333333333333333333333333333333333 Poor Jack. XD
darkhavens: shep intense passion [literati]darkhavens on October 17th, 2006 05:23 am (UTC)
Poor Jack indeed. Stuck in an office with no Daniel down the hall, no trips through the gate to get the adrenaline pumping... He needs a night of fun. :D