Title: Wet 'n' Wild
Pairing/Fandom: McKay/Sheppard, Stargate Atlantis
Feedback/Concrit: darkhavens @ slashverse.com
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Summary: Rodney makes a discovery in the Atlantis database and knows he has to share his find with John.
Notes: Written for summer_flinging originally posted (via sockpuppet) here.
The moment Rodney made the discovery, while skimming through the Ancient database, he knew he was in trouble. Oh, he knew he could keep scrolling through and try to forget what he'd seen, but then he'd get back to his room, and John would be there, and he'd ask 'Found anything interesting today?', and that would be Rodney, doomed.
Sure, he'd spent most of his life working on Top Secret projects, half of them so sensitive they were 'Eyes Only' outside the confines of whatever lab or base he was attached to, and he'd never once betrayed that confidence. But he couldn't lie to John worth a damn, not even about something as insignificant as a pulled muscle. John would take one look at his face and know he'd found something, so Rodney did what he did best - he solved for 'x', 'x' being 'We need to survive this with the least amount of damage and discomfort.'
When he finally opened the door of his room to find John sprawled invitingly on his bed he was grinning in anticipation.
It took them three days to talk Elizabeth into letting them turn the power on in that part of the city, and another one to convince her that they wouldn't do anything foolhardy. She remained resistant until John enrolled Teyla as a 'responsible adult' - someone who would go with them and make sure they didn't endanger themselves, each other or the city.
When Rodney mentioned the schematics he'd found that resembled some sort of water turbine attached to the underside of the same pier, thus justifying the outlay of precious power and hinting at a potential new source of the same, she threw up her hands in surrender. She had finally shooed them out of her office after extracting one final round of promises that they'd try not to require Carson's attention or a rescue party before the end of the day.
"You're sure this isn't going to end in acute embarrassment or allergic reaction?" John sat down on the bench-like thing in the corner and began to strip off his boots and socks.
Rodney finished peeling off his outer layers of clothing and then tucked his t-shirt into his boxers.
"What? Don't be stupid. I tested it on one of the botanists first. What's his name - the one that follows your Second in Command around like a lovesick poodle? Paris? Parrish, that's the one. He volunteered to come down here yesterday and try it out, and then spent an hour with one of Carson's nurses watching him like a hawk. No ill effects whatsoever."
Rodney snapped his fingers at John until he stood up and then shooed him into one of the vaguely man-shaped alcoves that lined the sterile-looking room.
"I've had half the science team examining this stuff and they promise me that it's completely inert, and that the solvents used in the cleansing chamber are also not going to strip the flesh from our bones or leave us high or hallucinating."
With a determined nod, he stepped into his own alcove and slapped his hands onto the palm-shaped pads at his hips. John did the same.
Thirty seconds later, they stepped out of their respective alcoves and stared at one other. From neck to toe, they were each completely coated in a blue-green substance very similar to latex. The only areas of their bodies not sleekly smooth - ignoring the slight wrinkles and bulges of the underwear deemed necessary by Parrish, who hadn't worn any - were the palms of their hands and the soles of their feet, covered in intricate ridges and bumps, presumably there to maximise traction.
Watching John flex and twist into extremely unnatural positions, testing the limits of the Ancient bodysuit, Rodney started pondering other possible uses of almost-latex second skins. He'd barely gotten started when he realised John was standing in front of him, practically vibrating with excitement. The man was actually bouncing on his toes.
John rolled his eyes, grabbed Rodney by the wrist and tugged him out of the prep room and into the small, covered docking area next door where Teyla was waiting, as patiently as ever, though possibly somewhat more amused than usual.
"You are both looking rather - colourful." She smiled at them both. "Will you be riding together or separately?"
John stood there, grinning from ear to ear as his gaze bounced from one streamlined, organic-looking Ancient Jet Ski to the next.
"What do you say, Rodney? Want to squeeze on behind me or take one out for yourself?" John wiggled his eyebrows, silently telling Rodney that he didn't mind which option Rodney chose.
The temptation to stick close to John, to wrap himself around John, as they skipped over the waves at - knowing John and the way ancient tech responded to him - horrendous speeds, was almost irresistible, but, here in the Pegasus galaxy, Rodney had finally discovered that he wasn't as much of a coward as he'd always assumed.
Straightening his shoulders and taking a deep - and only slightly shaky - breath, he stepped away from John and reached out to stroke a green-blue hand along the steering mechanism of a similarly coloured jet ski.
"I'll take this one."
If it was at all possible, John's grin grew even wider and he practically glowed with something that looked to Rodney like satisfaction and pride.
"This is going to be great!"
Rodney rolled his eyes.
"It's a good thing I found these during the summer months. You would have been impossible if you'd had to wait to play with your new toys."
The twitch of John's lips, and his not-quite-innocent expression, had Rodney immediately curious, not to mention nervous.
The wide-eyed puppy dog look John was now working just made him look even more suspicious.
"John, I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what that was about." To underline his point, Rodney folded his arms across his chest and glared, planting himself firmly beside Teyla. John just shook his head.
"I'm surprised at you, Rodney, not doing all your background reading. Didn't you notice the footnote on the page containing the propulsion schematics? The one that linked to the page on how the jet skis can be converted for use on snow? That long range of mountains in the southwest quadrant of the continent has glaciers, Rodney."
John was still wearing an expression of unholy glee when Rodney carefully climbed aboard his jet ski and gunned the engine, sending an impressive spray of water in John's direction as he swung away from the dock and out towards the vast expanse of ocean.
"You're gonna pay for that, McKay!"
John threw a quick glance in Teyla's direction.
"See you back here in an hour."
As he swung his leg over the body of his chosen jet ski, he reached up and tapped his earpiece so he could inform Elizabeth that they were heading out. He knew she'd have someone monitoring the external sensors to keep track of them, but there were protocols to be observed, and if they behaved themselves this time, there would be no reason for them not to have a next time.
Whatever taunt Rodney yelled back at him was drowned out by the roar of the powerful engine, and he leaned forward over the handlebars and increased the pressure on the throttle mechanism. He knew he could catch Rodney and make him pay for that dousing, but he also knew that Rodney wasn't going to go down without a fight. He had the bravest, most stubborn scientist in the entire Pegasus galaxy.