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10 June 2006 @ 11:58 pm
Discretion - It's Not As Easy As You'd Think, 4/5, John/Rodney
Author: darkhavens
Title: Discretion - It's Not As Easy As You'd Think, 4/5
Pairing: John Sheppard/Rodney McKay
Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Rating: PG-13 for now
Words: 446
Feedback/Concrit: darkhavens @ slashverse.com
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Summary: John and Rodney get sweaty and strip
Notes: Written for stagesoflove 2006, Round 3, 'Five Rooms', #4 - The Sauna, aka 'The Day McKay and The Colonel Got Hot and Sweaty In Public'.
#1 - The Gate Room, aka 'The ZPM Affair', #2 - The Mess Hall, aka 'The Cookie Incident', #3 - The Ancient Armoury, aka 'The Secret of the Slippery Stuff'.

The Sauna, aka 'The Day McKay and The Colonel Got Hot and Sweaty In Public'

The door, when they discover it, proves stubborn and resists initial attempts to coax it open, but Rodney perseveres. He perseveres in urging John on to greater efforts, until the door gives in and opens and they step on in.

Unfortunately, it then slides closed. And stays that way.


Half the crystals on the interior door control panel are missing, which doesn't impress Rodney one bit. He curses the Ancients and their apparent inability to put up simple-to-understand 'Out Of Order' signs. If John considers pointing out that the fight they had to get the door open might have been a small clue, he doesn't mention it. He knows better.

The narrow hall they're trapped in opens into a white hexagonal room lined with tiers of wide plain benches. The clickclunkhiss and sudden rise in humidity only serves to shock them both into worried recognition.

"It's a-"


Their words trip and tumble over one another, and then Rodney rolls his eyes and waves his hands in wild expression.

"A defective sauna if I'm not mistaken, if we take into account the way the door was rigged to keep us out. Infuriating Ancients. If it's not nanobots designed to kill us, or alien energy beings kept prisoner for eons in traps kids can screw up with one finger, its rooms set up to parboil whoever wonders in."

Rodney peels off his jacket and starts to check the walls for some sort of control system or removable panel.

"Well don't just stand there staring, Colonel, unless you want to rely on the rabble outside for your rescue. Once someone remembers to send for Radek, it'll still take hours to track him down. He's off with Halling building stills again."

As they search, the room gets hotter, and more humid. Clothing becomes a hindrance.


After an hour the heat and humidity begins to affect the radio signals, and the people outside can only hear the odd broken snippet of conversation.

"…an't grip…"
"…you too tight…"
"…rder, dammit! Pu…!"

Someone does send for Radek, almost before they hear McKay mention the Czech's name. Almost. They find him singing songs with Halling and a group of other very merry Athosians, but he's not drunk. It takes more than half a gallon of still swill to take down an eastern European scientist of his renown.

It takes three hours to get the door to open, each team working on their side exhaustively. Or so they claim. When it finally slides back to reveal the pair - shirtless, shoeless, sweat-soaked and looking rather rumpled - and standing very close - a collective sigh ripples through the waiting crowd.

The Infirmary, aka 'The Time When They Held Hands For Three Days'

WPAdmirer: More Abswpadmirer on June 10th, 2006 11:27 pm (UTC)
I really enjoy this series. They're fun.

melaganmelagan on June 10th, 2006 11:51 pm (UTC)
I just want to sit back and applaud. I love all the scenarios you come up with
(Deleted comment)
Night Springnightspring on June 11th, 2006 12:45 am (UTC)
It takes more than half a gallon of still swill to take down an eastern European scientist of his renown.

The whole thing has me in giggles, but somehow this line is the most memorable -- I can just *see* it. :D
adafrog: McShep-are we there yet.faithsqueenadafrog on June 11th, 2006 12:46 am (UTC)
Love it. I adore Rodney being very blase about Radek making stills. And with Halling! heee!
it only burns when I breathe: mcshep_mcshep_velocitygrassspikedluv on June 11th, 2006 12:52 am (UTC)
a collective sigh ripples through the waiting crowd.

Oh, god, yeah, lol! *sigh* *g*
tabaqui: mcshepbyspikendrutabaqui on June 11th, 2006 01:01 am (UTC)
OMG you an evool hoor to tease us all like that!
springwoofspringwoof on June 11th, 2006 01:21 am (UTC)
very cute series! i like how ambivalent they are..
kitty_poker1: Castalia-RodneyMcKay-snerkkitty_poker1 on June 11th, 2006 02:46 am (UTC)
LMAO! You're deeply evil. I love you anyway, but who knows why. Roll on the next part!
Goes "Ding" When There's Stuff: Xander edge by kornpeepsuki_blue on June 11th, 2006 03:36 pm (UTC)
"…an't grip…"
"…you too tight…"
"…rder, dammit! Pu…!"

LOL! Perfect! Classic!!

Oooh, sweaty bois. I WANT!!!!!!

Love it!
Ammitgreatofdeath on June 11th, 2006 07:20 pm (UTC)
Dude, i just love this. I can't wait to read the last part. Thanks!
Princess S: sithdragn:SGAGeekprincess_s on June 11th, 2006 10:01 pm (UTC)
I love the collective sighing :P

I especially like this cahpter, always a good way to end the day, with a sweaty colonel hmmmmmm.....
What, does he wanna date me or kill me?: SGA fankrysalys on June 12th, 2006 03:07 am (UTC)
Hell yeah, shirtless, rumpled and sweaty is exactly the way I love those two!
hamina hamina hamina...
What's even more hilarious is the fact that John and Rodney have been trying to keep their relationship under the radar, and yet everyone on Atlantis knows about it and is fine!
So what're the guys worried about, hmmmm? Well, other than Caldwell and the whole DADT crapola... ;)
Love this series, hon.
I am Derek's vocal eyebrows: ja; cpc [me]literati on July 15th, 2006 02:54 am (UTC)

Spooty ancients.. the least they could have done was rig the room with cameras. ::huffs::