Title: A Week in the (Un)Life Of… 3/5
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Rating: PG-13 for now
Feedback/Concrit: darkhavens @ slashverse.com
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Summary: Wednesday night is movie night.
Notes: Written for stagesoflove 2006, Round 3, 'Five Days', day #3 - Wednesday.
Stage #1 Monday, stage #2 Tuesday.
Wednesday night is 'Girls' Night In' - so named over Spike's loud and repeated protests. Xander's pretty sure that Spike only protests so loudly and so often to see Dawn reduced to mindless fits of giggles. He approves.
Dawn's presence is the most important one - for Spike and Xander - though open invitations stand for Willow and Buffy, who usually drops in once she's finished patrolling.
Tonight's movie is 'Alexander', chosen by Dawn as something they can all enjoy. Everyone likes to drool over good-looking men in tiny leather skirts, right?
Spike holds his peace until Jared Leto appears on screen, and then he chuckles evilly.
"If Hephaistion looked like that, it's no wonder Alexander batted for the other team. Such a pretty little boy."
Heaving a put-upon sigh, Spike sets down his beer and over-enthusiastically pats Xander's nearest thigh.
"You know I prefer my man - my Alexander - with more meat on his bones and a few extra inches where it counts."
At Xander's scandalised gasp and Dawn's muffled snickers, Spike elucidates.
"You're taller than all of them, you daft git. And you," - Spike waves a black-tipped finger in Dawn's direction, still damp from her careful application of fresh polish - "shouldn't be thinking about Xander's bits at all, young lady. They're nobody's business but mine - and yours, of course, luv."
Surprisingly, Spike behaves himself - if you ignore the wandering fingers, and Xander does - until Bagoas appears.
"And here's the boytoy, even prettier than Hephaistion by all accounts. A lot younger too. Not that Alexander stopped shagging Hephaistion, he just - shared the wealth. They didn't call him Alexander the Great for nothing. Great warrior, great king, great lover. Great poofter too, but not much of a husband to his actual wife. Bet you didn’t know his mother was so worried she wouldn't have grandkids, she talked his dad into hiring a courtesan to try and get him straightened out - literally."
"What? If you bloody humans weren't so uptight and prissy, all this stuff would be in the history books they make you read at school. Instead, they edit out all the sex and violence and you're left with a bunch of boring facts and figures. What's the point of that?"
As she does every week, Dawn mentally tunes out the movie to watch the real show - The Spike and Xander Show - playing to a grateful audience of one. She spends a long time each week deciding which movie they should watch, calculating Spike's outrageousness and Xander's horrified big brother reaction, but she's almost certain she could choose a Disney cartoon and still end up with an eye-opening education. Spike somehow manages to add sex and drama to everything. She's especially glad he's added them to Xander's life.