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05 June 2006 @ 03:18 am
A Week in the (Un)Life Of… 3/5, Spike/Xander
Author: darkhavens
Title: A Week in the (Un)Life Of… 3/5
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Rating: PG-13 for now
Words: 470
Feedback/Concrit: darkhavens @ slashverse.com
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Summary: Wednesday night is movie night.
Notes: Written for stagesoflove 2006, Round 3, 'Five Days', day #3 - Wednesday.
Stage #1 Monday, stage #2 Tuesday.


Wednesday night is 'Girls' Night In' - so named over Spike's loud and repeated protests. Xander's pretty sure that Spike only protests so loudly and so often to see Dawn reduced to mindless fits of giggles. He approves.

Dawn's presence is the most important one - for Spike and Xander - though open invitations stand for Willow and Buffy, who usually drops in once she's finished patrolling.

Tonight's movie is 'Alexander', chosen by Dawn as something they can all enjoy. Everyone likes to drool over good-looking men in tiny leather skirts, right?

Spike holds his peace until Jared Leto appears on screen, and then he chuckles evilly.

"If Hephaistion looked like that, it's no wonder Alexander batted for the other team. Such a pretty little boy."


Heaving a put-upon sigh, Spike sets down his beer and over-enthusiastically pats Xander's nearest thigh.

"You know I prefer my man - my Alexander - with more meat on his bones and a few extra inches where it counts."

At Xander's scandalised gasp and Dawn's muffled snickers, Spike elucidates.

"You're taller than all of them, you daft git. And you," - Spike waves a black-tipped finger in Dawn's direction, still damp from her careful application of fresh polish - "shouldn't be thinking about Xander's bits at all, young lady. They're nobody's business but mine - and yours, of course, luv."

Surprisingly, Spike behaves himself - if you ignore the wandering fingers, and Xander does - until Bagoas appears.

"And here's the boytoy, even prettier than Hephaistion by all accounts. A lot younger too. Not that Alexander stopped shagging Hephaistion, he just - shared the wealth. They didn't call him Alexander the Great for nothing. Great warrior, great king, great lover. Great poofter too, but not much of a husband to his actual wife. Bet you didn’t know his mother was so worried she wouldn't have grandkids, she talked his dad into hiring a courtesan to try and get him straightened out - literally."


"What? If you bloody humans weren't so uptight and prissy, all this stuff would be in the history books they make you read at school. Instead, they edit out all the sex and violence and you're left with a bunch of boring facts and figures. What's the point of that?"

As she does every week, Dawn mentally tunes out the movie to watch the real show - The Spike and Xander Show - playing to a grateful audience of one. She spends a long time each week deciding which movie they should watch, calculating Spike's outrageousness and Xander's horrified big brother reaction, but she's almost certain she could choose a Disney cartoon and still end up with an eye-opening education. Spike somehow manages to add sex and drama to everything. She's especially glad he's added them to Xander's life.


Willow Deandrusillas_rain on June 5th, 2006 02:56 am (UTC)
I loved this chapter :D
darkhavens: sx kiss w hand [me]darkhavens on June 22nd, 2006 07:12 pm (UTC)

I'm not really much of a Dawn fan, but I know Spike and Xander love her so I give in to them every now and then and let them have some Dawn time. She makes them act extra cute. *g*
tabaquitabaqui on June 5th, 2006 03:12 am (UTC)
Sex and drama, everywhere!
*smooshes you*
darkhavens: sx kiss w hand [me]darkhavens on June 22nd, 2006 07:13 pm (UTC)

You know Spike brings all the sex and drama to the yard. *g*

reddwarf75reddwarf75 on June 5th, 2006 04:20 am (UTC)
Wish I could participate in those movienights too ;)
darkhavens: sx kiss w hand [me]darkhavens on June 22nd, 2006 07:14 pm (UTC)
Oh, so do I - just to watch Spike and Xander cuddling. I probably wouldn't even notice what movie was on until Spike started adding gruesome details. *g*

katbcollkatbcoll on June 5th, 2006 04:29 am (UTC)
*cracks up* Gotta love Dawn.

Where do I sign up for movie nights like that?!
darkhavens: sx kiss w hand [me]darkhavens on June 22nd, 2006 07:17 pm (UTC)
Hee! Thanks!

I'm actually not much of a Dawn fan, but my boys are, so... I give in occasionally and let then see her. *g*

Lalkhamsin-khamsolalpiratepurple on June 5th, 2006 04:39 am (UTC)
I'm with Dawn. Spander sex and drama is of the good.
darkhavens: sx kiss w hand [me]darkhavens on June 22nd, 2006 07:19 pm (UTC)
Spander sex and drama is always of the good. :D

woman_of_: Blood claimwoman_of_ on June 5th, 2006 09:31 am (UTC)
Clever Dawn! Such a great choice of movie for Spike's brand of education.
darkhavens: sx kiss w hand [me]darkhavens on June 22nd, 2006 07:21 pm (UTC)
She's a clever cookie! Of course, Spike could add sex and/or violence to just about any movie she chose, even if all he did was describe the way he wants to eviscerate the actors. *g*

eithnexeithnex on June 5th, 2006 02:06 pm (UTC)
Have to admit I wouldn't have minded getting my history lessons from the "Spike and Xander show" either, clever Dawn. Thanks for sharing!
darkhavens: sx kiss w hand [me]darkhavens on June 22nd, 2006 07:22 pm (UTC)

I certainly wouldn't have dropped history if my teacher had looked like either of those boys. *g*
Ame: OTP by Saifaiamejisuto on June 5th, 2006 02:11 pm (UTC)
Hee! That is so them! Great job, that was funny!
darkhavens: sx kiss w hand [me]darkhavens on June 22nd, 2006 07:23 pm (UTC)
Thankee! They always put on a good show for their baby sister. *g*
sparrow2000sparrow2000 on June 5th, 2006 07:51 pm (UTC)
Bows down and worships, your Dawn is just a bad girl and we're right there with her. I hate to think what Spike would make of Shrek, but then there would probably be jokes about being hung like a donkey...
darkhavens: sx kiss w hand [me]darkhavens on June 22nd, 2006 07:24 pm (UTC)
Spike watching and snarking along to Shrek would be hilarious! And if it was Shrek 2, he'd probably compare Xander's puppy eyes with Puss in Boots' wide-eyed entreaty. *g*

kitty_poker1: Suki-Spanderkitty_poker1 on June 5th, 2006 09:59 pm (UTC)
Where do I sign up for my very own 'Spike and Xander Show'? Oh, here. I'm in the right place, then. *g*

darkhavens: sx kiss w hand [me]darkhavens on June 22nd, 2006 07:26 pm (UTC)
Hee! *smooch*

If there was a 'Spike and Xander Show' I'd have it playing 24/7, just like it does in my head. ;)
apsik: the sexyapsik on June 6th, 2006 12:40 pm (UTC)
*giggles* that's Dawnie!

Cute, I liked it ;]
darkhavens: sx kiss w hand [me]darkhavens on June 22nd, 2006 07:26 pm (UTC)
Thanks! She's a lucky girl to have such adoring, and adorable, big brothers. :D
     Mandya_phoenixdragon on June 19th, 2006 02:44 pm (UTC)
Finally got around to reading this... Sorry I'm late with it - and boy, wa I EVER sorry when I read the goodness that was Wednesday!! *Fumes in jealousy that Dawn gets the eyecandy...*

This whole week was just one fantastic moment after another!! *Squees earshatteringly...*

darkhavens: sx kiss w hand [me]darkhavens on June 22nd, 2006 07:27 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Dawn's big brothers are the bestest! :D
I am Derek's vocal eyebrows: dt; want this [me]literati on July 15th, 2006 03:04 am (UTC)
::doesn't mutter or grumble about the key::

I adore scandalised!Xander, I'd pay to watch that. ;)