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05 June 2006 @ 01:02 am
'Discretion - It's Not As Easy As You'd Think', 3/5, John/Rodney
Author: darkhavens
Title: Discretion - It's Not As Easy As You'd Think, 3/5
Pairing: John Sheppard/Rodney McKay
Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Rating: PG-13 for now
Words: 385
Feedback/Concrit: darkhavens @ slashverse.com
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Summary: It's not eavesdropping if you hear it by accident, right?
Notes: Written for stagesoflove 2006, Round 3, 'Five Rooms' #3 - The Ancient Armoury.
#1 - The Gate Room, aka 'The ZPM Affair', #2 - The Mess Hall, aka 'The Cookie Incident'.

The Ancient Armoury, aka The Secret of the Slippery Stuff

The Cookie Incident doesn't die an easy, quiet death; it lingers painfully for weeks, blurring into months. It's finally buried beneath the plethora of new discoveries, brought about by the ZPM that caused the kiss that still brings on the occasional swoon from Kusanagi, Brown and Simpson.

And then they find the Ancient armoury.


Lisa Hogan didn't mean to eavesdrop; she's not that kind of nurse. And this is a fact she makes certain to share with everyone she tells about what she overheard while tidying the surgery. They appreciate her honesty.

"…So then I suggested using regular gun oil, and Rodney turned purple and had to sit down."

"Ah, that's our Rodney. He does tend to over-react a wee bit every now and then."

Lisa Hogan doesn't quite manage to reproduce Colonel Sheppard's 'that's my Rodney' chuckle, but nobody minds that much. It's not like there's anyone in the city who hasn't heard it a hundred times before.

Brown and Simpson share a heartfelt sigh.

"I offered to sneak a bottle of extra virgin olive oil from the kitchens; I figured that'd do the job until the Daedalus arrives. He threatened to confiscate the 'toys' and shut me out of all the fun rooms! Carson, please, can't you spare just one bottle of…"

Lieutenant Dickerson is shunned for weeks for the crime of visiting the surgery at that most inconvenient time. He never finds out why.

Of course, everyone who hears the story knows exactly what the Colonel asked the doctor for - it's totally obvious. There's a second murmured conversation that trails in the wake of the first - why Dr McKay didn't ask his friend for the lube himself. Opinions are divided.


The big reveal of the latest treasure trove of weapons - Rodney threatens to injure John if he calls them toys again - falls surprisingly flat. Only the most militaristic of the ATA'd marines share John's awe at the silver 'sleeve' with its Heads-Up weapons system, and the smoothly, silently, articulated joints.

They're disappointed when he tells them that there's only one that's working - and that it's his. He doesn't hesitate to blame Rodney for not letting him use gun oil on the others to get them up to standard. They mutter 'Scientists,' and roll their eyes. They understand.

The Sauna, aka 'The Day McKay and The Colonel Got Hot and Sweaty In Public'

melagan: Boys will be boysmelagan on June 5th, 2006 01:28 am (UTC)
Just wanted you to know I'm enjoying the hell out of this little series. :)
Tazzles: envytazzles on June 5th, 2006 02:57 am (UTC)
This is so cute this series! I'm so enjoying it.
I love the way everyone misinterprets what happens or what they overhear.
tabaquitabaqui on June 5th, 2006 03:20 am (UTC)
(Anonymous) on June 5th, 2006 06:17 am (UTC)
This series makes me so happy. I can't wait until it's done, so I can read it all again in it's final glory. ::rubs hands together in anticipation::
ferret_kittyferret_kitty on June 5th, 2006 06:18 am (UTC)
Whoops, forgot I wasn't logged on. Sorry!
What, does he wanna date me or kill me?: All Hail The Geniuskrysalys on June 5th, 2006 08:04 am (UTC)
BWA! *flails*
*falls on floor laughing hysterically*
Mountain out of a molehill!
*continues to giggle at image of Miko spontaneously fainting*
Alex: John Rodney Suspicionmcalex22 on June 5th, 2006 10:23 am (UTC)
Just caught up with this series and I think it's very cute. Rodney and John through everybody else's POV! Are they or aren't they?

I love drabbles and I can't wait for the next one.

Well written - thanks for sharing :)
adafrogadafrog on June 5th, 2006 01:26 pm (UTC)
heee! So is it the scientists thinking about John/Rodney, and the military being oh so oblivious.realistic?
I love it!
Night Springnightspring on June 5th, 2006 02:19 pm (UTC)
Rodney turned purple

...I now have the image of Rodney as Barney in my head. Like I needed another one! *sigh*

hull1984hull1984 on June 5th, 2006 03:19 pm (UTC)
Oh this series is so cute! I'm loving these - the kiss is my favourite but love the others too. Can't wait to see what you come up with for the next one!
it only burns when I breathe: mcshep_nogood_penni_annspikedluv on June 5th, 2006 03:52 pm (UTC)
Bwahahahaha! Only John would call the weapons 'toys', and of course we all know what he was asking for, lol! Oh, god, the overheard and misunderstood. But that doesn't mean they're not doing it every chance they get. *vbg*
ancient historian in a reasonably priced car: triptochinatown_tombakerquote14excantare on June 5th, 2006 04:28 pm (UTC)
Just wanted to say - I'm lovin' the hell outta this *g*

Please write more of this soon! Pleasepleasepleaseplease!
Trust me, it gets ugly if I have to beg...
kitty_poker1: Castalia-RodneyMcKay-snerkkitty_poker1 on June 5th, 2006 10:10 pm (UTC)
They understand.

*pets them* Yes, of course they do. I mean, no-one could possibly misunderstand the conversations. Or could they? *muses*

More please. *bats Oliver Twisty eyes*
I am Derek's vocal eyebrows: hp; reflections [me]literati on July 15th, 2006 03:07 am (UTC)
Lieutenant Dickerson is shunned for weeks for the crime of visiting the surgery at that most inconvenient time. He never finds out why.


Out of the whole ficlet, this bit made me giggle the most.