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05 April 2006 @ 03:36 am
'Wilfully Oblivious', 2/5, for stagesoflove Round 2, Senses - #2 - Hearing
Author: darkhavens
Title: Wilfully Oblivious, 2/5
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Fandom: Buffy
Rating: R (because you all have dirty minds)
Words: 466
Feedback/Concrit: darkhavens @ slashverse.com
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Summary: "There are none so blind, as those who would not see..."
Notes: Written for stagesoflove 2006, Round 2, 'Exploring the Relationship Through The Senses', stage #2 - Hearing.
Stage #1 - Sight.
Also posted here.

Ring-ring, ring-ring, ring-ring. Click.

"Hi, this is Xander Harris... well, his answering machine. I'm either too busy to come to the phone or I'm off slaying… laundry or delivering pizzas or something. Please leave your message after th…" Click. Beeeeeeeeeep.

"Hey, Xander, I'm just calling to invite you to another fun night of research at the Magic Box. Something ooky is stealing people's pets down around South and Vine and it's leaving the bones in weird little piles in the park. We need to find out what it is before it starts stealing babies. Come by about seven, Giles is springing for pizza. Oh, and Giles says to ask you to let Spike know if you see him, but it's not like you're friends or anything, right, so I don't know what that's about. Seven o'clock. Don't forget!"


"Spike?" Yawn. "Was that Buffy on the phone?"

Bedsprings creak.

"Don't know, luv, and I don't care. She's probably wanting you to go out and get yourself beaten senseless again for no good reason except to keep her new shoes clean."

"Hey, we agreed. No dissing the…"

"Personally, I’d rather fuck you senseless, but if you're not up for it again so soon, I suppose I could burn off all this excess energy killing demons for her royal Buffness."

"No, no, I think I can force myself to… Oh! Oh, yeah, Spike, that’s… Just right th-ah!"

~~~~~Two days later~~~~~

Ring-ring, ring-ring, ring-ring. Click.

"Hi, this is Xander Harris... well, his answering machine. I'm either too busy to come to the phone or I'm off slaying… laundry or delivering pizzas or something. Please leave your message after th…" Click. Beeeeeeeeeep.

"Xander? While I'm fairly certain you're not in any immediate danger, even if you are doing what I think you're doing with Spike, and please God may I never have cause to think that again… Ah, where was I? Oh, yes. While I don't imagine you're lying in a bleeding, broken heap on your kitchen floor, Willow and Buffy are not so easily convinced and are therefore on their way to save you. I'm sure that you and Spike would rather be dressed and vaguely vertical when they burst in to rescue you from - I believe giant mutant killer roaches won the straw poll, despite my abstention from the vote. Well, I just thought it advisable to warn you they were on their way, fully armed and-"


"Oh no… Spike? Spike, wake up! Damn clingy vampire! What are you, part octopus? Let me go! Wake up and get some pants on before Willow and Buffy get here. Did I mention I gave Willow a spare key, just in case? Come on, come on, get up already!"

Thud thud.

"Xander? Are you in there? Are you okay?"

rattle rattle clink…

Part Three

your royal pie-ness: Xander green Entre (me)entrenous88 on April 5th, 2006 03:10 am (UTC)
Heeee, you're very evil, but you know that, don't you? To leave the boys there, and us worried about Buffy and Willow bursting in with weapons. But glad to see that they've moved (well beyond!) that first kiss stage. I'm definitely looking forward to the next installment in the series.

Eeensy thing -- Buffy using the word fancy ("fancy another fun night") sticks out a bit, as the rest of her speech is good American-speak.
darkhavens: x so damn fuckable [literati}darkhavens on April 5th, 2006 03:25 am (UTC)
Thank you! *twirls evil moustache and cackles gleefully*

And ack! Um... *wracks brain*
Okay, amended. Thanks! *smooch*
Lalkhamsin-khamsolalpiratepurple on April 5th, 2006 03:34 am (UTC)
Eep! Busted!
darkhavensdarkhavens on April 16th, 2006 11:26 pm (UTC)
Hee! Yis! Out of the closet and into the spotlight. :D

outsideth3box: Flysexoutsideth3box on April 5th, 2006 03:41 am (UTC)
darkhavensdarkhavens on April 16th, 2006 11:26 pm (UTC)
:D Thanks!
most excellently twisted: Coolfanbot on April 5th, 2006 03:46 am (UTC)
And you present me with yet another reason to love you!

And the link to part two that is on part one leads you ... to part one.
darkhavensdarkhavens on April 5th, 2006 03:50 am (UTC)
*head desk* Thank you. This is what comes of not writing for three simultaneous deadlines until there are only four hours left to go. o.O

Thanks! *smooch*
midnight: spander kissinginkingwords on April 5th, 2006 05:11 am (UTC)
These were great!!!!
darkhavensdarkhavens on April 16th, 2006 11:27 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I love playing with dialogue. :D
savoy trufflesavoytruffle on April 5th, 2006 05:58 am (UTC)
hee! busted!
darkhavensdarkhavens on April 16th, 2006 11:27 pm (UTC)
So very busted! Yis!
Thanks. :D
epona34epona34 on April 5th, 2006 06:59 am (UTC)
I love the message on Xander's answering machine.
Thanks for sharing.
darkhavensdarkhavens on April 16th, 2006 11:28 pm (UTC)

I've been cut off by my own machine so many times while recording a new message, so I figured Xander might have the same problem. *g*
tabaquitabaqui on April 5th, 2006 01:43 pm (UTC)
Giant roaches!

Love it.
darkhavensdarkhavens on April 16th, 2006 11:33 pm (UTC)
Yis! You know Buffy and Willow would egg each other on to come up with totally impossible reasons for Xander not answering his phone or coming to meetings. And they figure he's a guy, so he's not the tidiest of neatniks, so he probably has roaches and this being Sunnydale... And then the Praying Mantis lady would get a mention and they'd be out the door so fast! :D

who said what now? - tabaqui on April 16th, 2006 11:51 pm (UTC) (Expand)
kitty_poker1: suki_blue!Simskitty_poker1 on April 5th, 2006 05:47 pm (UTC)
What are you, part octopus?

LMAO! I'd chide you on the cliffie but I think I can wait another week to find out what happens next. I think. *g*
darkhavensdarkhavens on April 16th, 2006 11:35 pm (UTC)
Thank you! You know Spike's got to be a snuggler, and with vamp strength there'd be no getting away from him. *g*

You know I posted part three, right? *nudge nudge* ;)

Caitlyn: spike demonmunin on April 5th, 2006 11:26 pm (UTC)
I love it. I love that it's Giles who's warning them. I love that Buffy is obvlious in the first message, going so far as to comment on how they're not friends even though Giles--her watcher thinks he'd see Spike. I'm looking forward to reading more!
darkhavensdarkhavens on April 16th, 2006 11:39 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I think Giles wanted to make sure nobody got staked/blamed/hurt. He knows Buffy - the Slayer - has a hair trigger temper around vampires, and I'm sure he figured biting would have been a part of the boys fun and games.

Buffy's just Buffy - oblivious to anything not directly related to her or to slayage. She has the whole world to worry about! *g*
sablerose2sablerose2 on April 6th, 2006 02:47 am (UTC)
Oh no you did not stop there!!! That's just too mean come on need more!!
darkhavensdarkhavens on April 16th, 2006 11:40 pm (UTC)
Part three was posted last week, you must have missed it. ;) It's linked at the bottom of this fic post.

Thanks for reading and commenting! :D
batmanvinniebatmanvinnie on April 6th, 2006 04:48 pm (UTC)
Love it! Love that Giles is helping them out. Very nice
darkhavensdarkhavens on April 16th, 2006 11:41 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

I think Giles believes he's simply doing damage control, but he's on their side really. *g*
and then we lit it on fireelectricalgwen on April 8th, 2006 12:03 am (UTC)
"dressed and vaguely vertical" - heee!
Fun fun. Thud.
darkhavens: x blue [literati]darkhavens on April 16th, 2006 11:42 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

Spike always seems to be leaning and Xander slouches, so I figure 'vaguely vertical' covers a multitude of sins. ;)
     Mandya_phoenixdragon on April 11th, 2006 07:52 am (UTC)

Can't a vampire and a geek get laid without being pestered back to life and half to death?! Geez...

LOL!! Another good romp, hon!
darkhavensdarkhavens on April 16th, 2006 11:43 pm (UTC)
Thanks! they can't have five minutes peace without someone trying to kill them or drag them out of bed. Such a shame. *g*
The Grammarian about whom your mother warned you.acostilow on April 25th, 2006 04:06 am (UTC)
Can I just say that I love you? 'Cuz, you know, I love you. :D

*dances off the read the rest*
darkhavensdarkhavens on May 17th, 2006 07:04 pm (UTC)
Hee! Thanks!
*dances off to answer the rest* (so so very behind on the fb front. *shame*)