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darkhavens
27 November 2005 @ 12:25 am
'Food Porn', three for slashthedrabble challenge #53 - Feast and/or Famine
Author: darkhavens
Title: Food Porn
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard of Stargate: Atlantis
Rating: PG
Words: 100x3
Feedback/Concrit: darkhavens @ slashverse.com
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Summary: Rodney+Food=Porn
Notes: This trio of drabbles also responds to challenges #36 - Breakfast, #37 - Lunch, and #38 - Dinner, in my slash_100 Big Damn Table. (5, 6, + 7/100)



Breakfast

John felt almost masochistic watching Rodney eat; he ended every meal at least half-hard. Rodney turned the gustatory hell of rubber eggs and not-ham into something more resembling high-grade porn.

Once that first overcooked, under-flavoured, mouthful touched his tongue, Rodney was in heaven and John was trapped in hell. Each moan and groan and sated sigh, each mumbled 'Oh, God, yes,' fluttered down to land in John's lap, and worked like eager hands.

When Weir brought up the subject of a Presidential banquet on their next co-ordinated visit 'home', John nearly wept. He knew he'd never make it to dessert.



Lunch

John tried hard not to be too obvious or predictable - he limited deliveries to non-consecutive days. He didn't count the protein bars and MREs he took off world; they couldn't have Rodney fainting in a crisis.

He tried his best to vary Rodney's diet in his lunchtime sallies. Toasted almost-cheese on wild grain bread with mystery soup went well. Salads were examined with distrust and then ignored, unless they came tucked neatly in a bun with 'real' food.

The first time Rodney took a bite without his routine check for citrus, John excused himself and took a long, cold shower.



Dinner

The Tragor were a friendly bunch and everything went well, at least until they all sat down for dinner - then the weirdness started.

Rodney, as was usual, got John to taste the food, but after his first mouthful, silence fell.

"When dining with our partners," - hands were clasped around the table - "we only feed each other, not ourselves. It is our way."

Doriel, in charge of trading, smiled with steely eyes, and motioned to the food laid out before them.

"Please."

Rodney looked at John, who looked at Rodney, then the food and back. Rodney licked his lips. John whimpered.


 
Alizarin_NYC: rodney libertyalizarin_nyc on November 27th, 2005 01:27 am (UTC)
gmmmmmphh. I'M whimpering. This is great!

When Weir brought up the subject of a Presidential banquet on their next co-ordinated visit 'home', John nearly wept. He knew he'd never make it to dessert.

Brilliant.
darkhavens: shep puppy eyes [literati]darkhavens on November 27th, 2005 01:33 am (UTC)
Thank you! :D

I had this vision of John shuddering out a silent orgasm at the table, while watching Rodney lick the icecream off his spoon. *drools*
who said what now? - alizarin_nyc on November 27th, 2005 06:55 am (UTC) (Expand)
who said what now? - darkhavens on November 28th, 2005 05:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Alex: John from Hivemcalex22 on November 27th, 2005 01:41 am (UTC)
Ohhohoho! This is absolutely fantastic and so well written! I feel a tad bit (but not that much because it is Rodney afterall) sorry for John... poor guy sitting down with a stiffie and listening to Rodney make all those obscene moans and groans!

Maybe he should act on his feelings to uh alleviate the tension!

Great story! :D

darkhavens: shep intense passion [literati]darkhavens on November 28th, 2005 05:42 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :D

I think John secretly enjoys torturing himself with Rodney's food porn noises. Once he's sufficiently wound up I'm sure he'll pounce. ;)

chaps1870chaps1870 on November 27th, 2005 02:00 am (UTC)
Well that was damn fine food porn. Kudos to you. :)
darkhavens: rodney are you wearing it major [literatdarkhavens on November 28th, 2005 05:43 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :D

Rodney makes it so easy... *g*
tabaquitabaqui on November 27th, 2005 02:02 am (UTC)
Heeeeeeeeee!!
Yis yis!!
*snerk*

I love it. Poor John!
*la la la*
darkhavensdarkhavens on November 28th, 2005 05:44 pm (UTC)
Thanks!

Poor John indeed. But he's the one who's torturing himself by not making a move and getting Rodney to make real porn noises. *g*
Cat: SGA Sheppardakacat on November 27th, 2005 02:27 am (UTC)
Salads were examined with distrust and then ignored, unless they came tucked neatly in a bun with 'real' food.

lol!

Rodney licked his lips. John whimpered.

Poor John. He needs to start wearing longer jackets. *g*
darkhavens: shep look at me [literati]darkhavens on November 28th, 2005 05:47 pm (UTC)
Thanks!

I may have projected onto Rodney just a wee bit there - I am of the opinion that salad is stuff that comes with food, it's not food in its own right. *g*

Does John really need longer jackets when he already has all that spare room in his pants? I swear he and Rodney could both fit into those baggy things he wears... ;)
iadorespike: McShepiadorespike on November 27th, 2005 02:31 am (UTC)
OMG, I love you. This is the most awesome of 'food porn'. You just made my evening...:)

Anna

When Weir brought up the subject of a Presidential banquet on their next co-ordinated visit 'home', John nearly wept. He knew he'd never make it to dessert. I'm *whimpering*!!

darkhavensdarkhavens on November 28th, 2005 05:48 pm (UTC)
Thanks!

The mental picture of Rodney fellating a spoon while John sits opposite trying not to come is a compelling one. *g*
Sandy: SGA Shep_forcryingoutloudsp23 on November 27th, 2005 02:50 am (UTC)
Heee! No wonder John wears his pants so baggy. It helps to hide the action goin' on down below after a quick meal with Rodney. These were all great fun. *g*
darkhavens: shep property of [literati]darkhavens on November 28th, 2005 05:49 pm (UTC)
Thanks!

I knew there had to be a reason for all that extra room in John's pants. It's the Rodney Zone! *g*
Lalkhamsin-khamsolalpiratepurple on November 27th, 2005 04:29 am (UTC)
Guh.
darkhavensdarkhavens on November 28th, 2005 05:49 pm (UTC)
:D Thanks.
Amanda: SGA Balcony Fallgorgon_mythos on November 27th, 2005 04:50 am (UTC)
Dare I say "Mmmm Yummy McSheppiness" I love it when it is one way idolization. Just...yumminess
darkhavens: shep puppy eyes [literati]darkhavens on November 28th, 2005 05:51 pm (UTC)
Thanks!

I like watching them suffer - and then give in to their desires and get lucky. ;)
rache: john santa elf by dar_jeelingwickedwords on November 27th, 2005 05:21 am (UTC)
How cute!
darkhavens: shep fly me [literati]darkhavens on November 28th, 2005 05:52 pm (UTC)
Thanks. :D
     Mandy: Classic JDa_phoenixdragon on November 27th, 2005 06:03 am (UTC)
This was too good.... Poor John! Well, then again - it's his fault for sitting there without iron underwear!*G*! Lovely food porn honey! Fantastic!
*Raids 'fridge...*
Mandy
darkhavens: shep so very gay [literati]darkhavens on November 28th, 2005 05:53 pm (UTC)
Thanks!

Iron underwear tends to chafe. John would be better off just jumping Rodney. With pudding. *g*
who said what now? - bloodygoodgirl on November 27th, 2005 06:21 am (UTC) (Expand)
darkhavens: shep rodney naked now [literati]darkhavens on November 28th, 2005 05:54 pm (UTC)
Thanks!

I do enjoy giving people new kinks. *g*
Tonia Barone: John and Rodneytoniabarone on November 27th, 2005 08:58 am (UTC)
Damn. *L* Poor John. Thanks for these.
darkhavens: shep look at me [literati]darkhavens on November 28th, 2005 05:55 pm (UTC)
Thanks!
mackeygeniusmackeygenius on November 27th, 2005 12:52 pm (UTC)
*snicker* I know someone who's suffering,lol.
darkhavens: rodney are you wearing it major [literatdarkhavens on November 28th, 2005 05:56 pm (UTC)
Hee! Thanks. :D

John needs to just jump him already but he's having too much fun torturing himself.
Cedara: SGA:Rodney_McKaycedara on November 27th, 2005 12:57 pm (UTC)
Nice!
darkhavensdarkhavens on November 28th, 2005 05:57 pm (UTC)
Thanks! :D