Title: Crime and Punishment, The Movie
Pairing/Character: Spike/Xander, Dru, of Buffy
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
AN1: The continuing past and future adventures of baby!vamp!Xander.
AN2: The not-quite movie title titles of each drabble just happened, okay? Honest.
A Sideways Proposal
Xander rolled off his lunch and rifled the body's pockets, crowing in delight when he found a wallet and a key. Then he bounced back onto his heels and turned to Spike.
"He was wicked, Sire. A bad, bad man. He tricked little old ladies out of the contents of their jewelry boxes. He hid them in a lockbox in the attic behind the water tank. He honestly thought we were here to rob him!"
"Nice trick, luv. Is there anything worth keeping?"
"Blood-red rubies for Dru and a bag of gentleman's wedding rings."
"A couple are almost identical..."
Smoking Kitten, Shredded Fags
"Xander? Where the bloody hell are my fags? If you've smoked them all I'll gut you!"
Cushions went flying as Spike strip-searched the couch.
"I haven't touched them, Spike. We haven't had sex today - well, not yet. You know I only smoke when I'm shagged out. Last time I saw them they were on your bedside table…"
Pounding footfalls on the stairs made Xander shake his head.
"You thieving little git! I'll ring your scrawny neck! Xander! Get your kitten-loving arse up here right now!"
Xander took the stairs three at a time, then froze inside the bedroom.
The Dead Witch Project
"You tried stealing Spike's Kitten away to keep him for your own. You wanted to lock him up in a tiny cage made out of bars that bite. Nipping at his heart, at his sanity, his demon - bars made out of ugly, burning soul. You'd make him howl with grief. That's cruelty, that is. Never saw the like, not since the gypsies danced. You tried to make him hurt for being him, and his, and mine and ours. You tried to make him wish himself away. Dirty deed. You should be punished, little red doll. No tea for you today."