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darkhavens
04 November 2009 @ 07:04 am
IT'S MY LJVERSARY! Also, Fic: Five Things Xander Harris Gave Up..., PG13
Today is my 6th LJversary! On this day in 2003, darkhavens came into this world on wobbly legs with a shifty look in her eyes. And in almost no time at all, there was porn. :D

In celebration of this auspicious occasion, I decided that I should revisit my first love, Spander. I didn't quite manage porn, but there's sexin' in there, if you squint. ;)


Author: darkhavens
Title: Five Things Xander Harris Gave Up After Getting Involved With Spike
Fandom: Pairing: Buffy: Spike/Xander
Rating: PG13
Words: 500
Concrit: Please. If you spot a typo or a grammar glitch, feel free to tell me in comments.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Warnings/Squicks: None
Summary: Some things are worth the sacrifice.
Notes: Written as part of my participation in mini_wrimo this year, and also for prompt #228 at slashthedrabble: 'Left'.


Five Things Xander Harris Gave Up After Getting Involved With Spike

1. His sanity. No, really. He's spent a lot of years telling Buffy she must have been crazy to get involved with Angel, and if there's one thing that Alexander LaVelle Harris isn't, it's a hypocrite.

But if sanity means not having Spike in his life and his bed, then sanity is most definitely over-rated. Just call him Xander the Crazy and let him get on with it.

He thinks he might begin to worry if his limited edition commemorative action figures start talking to him like the terrifying Miss Edith did to Dru, but unless – until? – that happens, he figures he's doing okay.


2. Control of the remoteany remote, including the ones for the TV, the DVR, the DVD player, the stereo… and the multi-function, twisting, thrusting vibrator that Spike brought home last month as a surprise.

It probably would have been less of a surprise if Spike had waited until Xander was awake before applying it, but, everything considered, it was a pleasant surprise.


3. Saturday morning cartoons. This was a close call, he’ll admit, maybe, if you ask him when Spike is a couple of miles outside of hearing distance, but he doesn't regret it.

He'd much rather spend the early hours of Saturday mornings being used as a human blanket by the vampire in his bed. He's not sure how Spike does it, but no matter how they're lying when they go to sleep, whether spooned or tangled up together somehow, Xander always seems to wake with Spike tucked almost completely underneath him, his face buried either in Xander's chest or the pillow, his hands and feet jammed into the pockets of warmth at Xander's armpits and between his knees.

Anyway, he can usually manage to get his hands on the DVR remote while Spike is either showering or touching up his roots (or his nails), so he can set it to record his favorite shows to watch while Spike is out winning baskets of kittens or Mastering the Hellmouth.


4. Garlic. Not because it's lethal to vampires; it's really not. But Spike claims he has sensitive taste buds, and apparently certain flavours can affect a person's taste more than others, like pineapple, cinnamon and mint.

Xander doesn't miss cauliflower at all, but he did love garlic bread with pizza.

He loves blowjobs more, though.


5. Growing Old. Oh, Spike hasn't said anything too obvious yet, but Xander knows it's just a matter of time. There was a grey hair in his pubes last week, not that he would have noticed if Spike hadn't yanked it out and waved it under his nose while looking angry and terrified by turns.

He's okay with the idea, really. He's been weighing up the pros and cons for quite a while now, and he knows that not losing Spike – not forcing Spike to lose him, one grey hair at a time – outweighs every other concern he could think of.

He's okay with losing everything else, so long as he gets to keep Spike.


 
outsideth3box: BtVS Vamp Spike and Xanderoutsideth3box on November 4th, 2009 07:09 am (UTC)
Oh this is wonderful!

Mastering the Hellmouth! Bwah! And Lily was asleep until I got to that bit, heee!

I love Xander as Spike's blanket and I agree that not losing Spike is more vital than any other issue.

♥ ♥ ♥
darkhavens: sx a love eternal [literati]darkhavens on December 1st, 2009 11:20 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :D

Mastering the Hellmouth is siriuz bizniz!
Kevin Jonesmulder200 on November 4th, 2009 07:30 am (UTC)
Ah, this was sweet!
darkhavens: sx a love eternal [literati]darkhavens on December 1st, 2009 11:21 pm (UTC)
Thanks! :D
velvetwhip: Spander kissage by Claudia6913velvetwhip on November 4th, 2009 07:40 am (UTC)
This was a kick and a half! Happy LJversary!


Gabrielle
darkhavens: sx a love eternal [literati]darkhavens on December 1st, 2009 11:21 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I still can't beleive it's been 6 years. *g*
bmblbeebmblbee on November 4th, 2009 09:30 am (UTC)
Very cute and very Xanderish!
darkhavens: sx a love eternal [literati]darkhavens on December 1st, 2009 11:21 pm (UTC)
Hee! thanks. :D
mrcooperbexmania on November 4th, 2009 09:56 am (UTC)
"There was a grey hair in his pubes last week, not that he would have noticed if Spike hadn't yanked it out and waved it under his nose while looking angry and terrified by turns."

That is frickin hilarious!
darkhavens: sx a love eternal [literati]darkhavens on December 1st, 2009 11:23 pm (UTC)
:D Thanks!

That first grey pube can bring a guy down to earth with a real bump. *g*
VF: Spander (truly tazi)vampirefever on November 4th, 2009 10:24 am (UTC)
Awww - you made me read a Buffyverse fic for the first time in eons and I liked it *g*

Happy LJ-versary. See you on Friday :-)
darkhavens: sx a love eternal [literati]darkhavens on December 1st, 2009 11:24 pm (UTC)
Hahaha! and yay! I still have the touch. ;)

Thanks! :D
and then we lit it on fire: Spanderelectricalgwen on November 4th, 2009 10:41 am (UTC)
YAY! This is just perfect. *happy sigh* Sweet and funny, spot-on characterization, and the last line of every one of them is fabulous, great little punches.

Happy LJversary! And many thanks - I wouldn't have found LJ and a home in fandom without bloodclaim. :)
darkhavens: sx a love eternal [literati]darkhavens on December 1st, 2009 11:27 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Sometimes, writing things like this, the last line waits until the very last moment to come out from hiding. *g*

And thank you. I'm glad you, and me, and so many others, have found a home in bloodclaim. IMO, creating that place is the best thing I've ever done.
ersilia62ersilia62 on November 4th, 2009 11:05 am (UTC)
Just a word..... Lovely Thank You!
darkhavens: sx a love eternal [literati]darkhavens on December 1st, 2009 11:28 pm (UTC)
Thank you too. :D
Kristintxrabbit on November 4th, 2009 11:33 am (UTC)
I'm so glad you revisited the boys! I added some Spander to my iPhone last week and found myself re-reading Grungefic. Nummy. *grins*

This was delightful and so very Xander. Lovely!

*twirls you*
darkhavens: sx a love eternal [literati]darkhavens on December 1st, 2009 11:29 pm (UTC)
I'm on an iPhone? COOL! *g*

Thankee, darlin'! I hope you're well, had a good Thanksgiving and are now looking forward to Xmyth and some serious celebrating. *smooch*
reddwarf75reddwarf75 on November 4th, 2009 12:13 pm (UTC)
Sweet and wonderful, just like a first love should be :D
Marie
darkhavens: sx a love eternal [literati]darkhavens on December 1st, 2009 11:30 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

Nothing ever really compares to that first love. *g*
wrtr_aka_wmgrgwrtr_aka_wmgrg on November 4th, 2009 01:35 pm (UTC)
And I give up
Praise ... yes indeed. This is a lovely little bit of writing. Although it does make me wonder ... what did Spike give up? ;)
darkhavens: sx a love eternal [literati]darkhavens on December 1st, 2009 11:31 pm (UTC)
Re: And I give up
Thank you! :D

Your question inspired a sister set of things given up by Spike, so thank you for that too. ;)
your royal pie-ness: buffyverse: XanderEntreentrenous88 on November 4th, 2009 01:57 pm (UTC)
Anyway, he can usually manage to get his hands on the DVR remote while Spike is either showering or touching up his roots (or his nails), so he can set it to record his favorite shows to watch while Spike is out winning baskets of kittens or Mastering the Hellmouth.

Ahahahahaha! That Spike, a ruthless killer and a pursuer of kittens and good hair.

He loves blowjobs more, though.
Smart lad!

He's okay with losing everything else, so long as he gets to keep Spike.
Awwww! *explodes into puddle of goo*

Very nice!
darkhavens: sx a love eternal [literati]darkhavens on December 2nd, 2009 12:04 am (UTC)
That Spike, a ruthless killer and a pursuer of kittens and good hair.

Trufax! :D

Thankee, darlin'!
JaneDavitt: xanderbwbykatekat1010janedavitt on November 4th, 2009 01:57 pm (UTC)
Happy LJversary! :;snuggles::
darkhavens: sx a love eternal [literati]darkhavens on December 2nd, 2009 12:04 am (UTC)
Thanks! *smishes*
fearless5555fearless5555 on November 4th, 2009 03:04 pm (UTC)
This is adorable and the xander voice is perfect. My favorite line is 'Just call him Xander the Crazy and let him get on with it' because it's so Xanderish.
darkhavens: sx a love eternal [literati]darkhavens on December 2nd, 2009 12:05 am (UTC)
It's good to hear I still have my Xander voice. Sometimes my boys go quiet and worry me. *g*

Thanks! :D
Denitamenomegirl on November 4th, 2009 03:27 pm (UTC)
Happy LJVERSARY!
darkhavens: sx a love eternal [literati]darkhavens on December 2nd, 2009 12:06 am (UTC)
Thankee! :D