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darkhavens
14 April 2009 @ 06:40 am
Fic: "Experimentation", SGA: John/Rodney, R
Author: darkhavens
Title: Experimentation
Fandom: Pairing: Stargate Atlantis: John Sheppard/Rodney McKay
Rating: R
Words: 1200
Concrit: Please. If you spot a typo or a grammar glitch, feel free to tell me in comments.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Warnings/Squicks: attempted knifeplay, mention of bondage, misuse of an Ancient sex toy artifact.
Summary: It's not easy trying to develop new kinks...
Notes: A trio of scenes written off three comment_fic prompts. (Prompts inside.)


EXPERIMENTATION

All That Glitters - telesilla - SGA, John/Rodney, edgeplay

The knife in John's hand completely fills Rodney's field of vision. It's huge and gleaming, highly polished – Ronon's work, he thinks vaguely – and viciously serrated down the spine of the blade, from just below the tip to the phallus-shaped handle.

It's a real knife, nothing like the crude stickers Kolya and his goons carried, once upon a time. And as quickly as the thought surfaces, Rodney chokes that fairytale-horror story memory back before it can see the light of day- dusk- whatever.

The sleek curve of silver-grey reflects back the light of the setting sun into Rodney's blown-out eyes, all salmon pinks and bleeding orange, fiery reds and plum-bruise purples.

The blade shifts slightly with every breath John takes, and Rodney's unblinking gaze shifts with it.

"You know what? This isn't going to work."

Rodney doesn't seem to hear John's words, but when John moves to slide the knife back into its sheath, he whines, reaching out in a swiftly aborted attempt to snatch it back.

"Please… John, I need to…" His words fade out as he follows John's pointed stare down to his own uninterested cock. Small and pink, flaccid, it curls between his thighs like it's trying to hide itself away.

"Hey, it's just one kink, right? It's not like there aren't others we can-"

"That's not the point! I used to… to really enjoy it and then…" Rodney grabs up a pillow and begins to twist and pull at the corners. "Then he showed up, with his stormtroopers and his stupid little pieces of shit pocket knives, and suddenly he's in bed with us and I hate that!"

The pillow sails over John's left shoulder as he bends to place the now sheathed knife into one of his boots.

"Hey!"

Rodney glares at him, obviously spoiling for a fight to burn his shame away.

"Oh, what? Did I ruffle the hair? Or are you going to complain about my shitty aim now? I'm not one of your trained monke- OOF! Get off me, you damn hairy ape!"

Rodney doesn't stop squirming or complaining until he's completely pinned and immobilised by John's knees and ankles, elbows, hands and heavier-than-he-looks-dammit bodyweight. He gives each point of contact one final ineffectual tugtwistjerk before subsiding into the mattress with a satisfied huff.

"Okay. I can work with this. Did you bring any rope?"



Flash! - spae, SGA, Rodney/John, "But we only have fourteen hours to save the Earth!" (Bonus so fucking hard for harem-outfitted!John.)

"Say it."

"Rodney…"

"Go on. Just say it and then I'll-"

"Rodney! Get these damn ropes off me right now, or so help me-"

A distant explosion rattles the leaded glass in the windows and sets the stone floor to trembling. The candles sway erratically as the free-standing candelabras rock on rough-hewn surfaces, their flickering flames throwing strange, amorphous shadows around the room.

"Sounds like Lorne's on his way. If you want, we can wait for him to get here and play rescuing knight, or…"

"Or?"

"Or you can say it, just once, and I'll cut you free."

John glares, but his current circumstances render the expression less effective than he'd hoped. Then Rodney shows his ace in the hole.

"I grabbed your uniform while they weren't looking. It's in my pack."

A muscle in John's jaw twitches as he grinds his teeth, but he nods curtly. Rodney beams with delight.

"I love you, Rodney. But we only have fourteen hours to save the Earth!"

"Ha!"

True to his word, Rodney steps forward and makes short work of the thick hemp ropes tying John to the overly ornate, pillow-strewn four-poster bed.

While John picks the now severed knots free at his ankles and wrists, Rodney digs out his uniform, unwrapping it to reveal his thigh-strap holster and handgun tucked away inside. He holds them up with a hopeful smile.

"I couldn't grab your P90 without them noticing, but I got this and your knife."

John just grunts and shrugs his 'sacrificial garments' off, viciously kicking them to one side before scrambling into his pants and shirts, stamping his way into his boots as the combined sounds of gunfire and screaming draw ever closer.

"Um…" Rodney blanches under the full force of John's glare, but he has to at least ask. "Could we… Could we maybe keep the wispy pants, and that gauzy little bolero jacket-y thing? Please? You'd look so hot in some kohl and pale pink lip gloss."

The smack on the head Rodney receives as he bends to retrieve the filmy bits of fluff stings, but he decides to grab them anyway, as he's already down there.

"Rodney!"

"What? We can always trade them for chocolate from one of your closeted macho types. I can think of at least three who'd wrestle naked in Jell-O to get their hands on something as fancy as these. Have you seen this needlework?"



Shock Treatment - beautybecks, SGA, John/Rodney, shock treatment

"So, um, I… I found this in the last lab we checked out before dinner."

Rodney shoves his hand under John's nose, fingers clenched so tight John can’t see much of anything more than a sliver of bluish green looks-like-plastic-but-holds-a-charge-so-be-careful-you-idiots inorganic matter, like the stuff they'd been finding in this latest set of labs, often molded into angular or oddly intrusive-looking shapes.

"O-kay. And you're acting like you're twelve and you've got a creepy-ass bug in a matchbox, why, exactly?"

The analogy makes John twitch back from Rodney's clenched fist, even though he's absolutely certain that Rodney would never do something so childishly evil as to terrify John with the Pegasus equivalent of a tarantula. Ever. Again.

John shifts his gaze from Rodney's hand to his face, and is absurdly grateful to see that Rodney has completely missed his reflexive bug-avoidance manoeuvre. He's too busy staring at his hand, still hovering in front of John, just about at nose-level.

"So… Whatcha got?"

Rodney lets his hand fall open and John is left staring at a greenish blue ovoid lump, the size and shape of a duck egg, but with a set of fine-ridged indentations arrayed around the broader end.

"I'm pretty sure it's a sex toy."

And, okay, yes, it did look a bit like the plastic vibrating egg Nancy had owned back when they were dating, but Ancient Sex Toy was just not something he expected to have shoved under his nose. Not even by his crazy scientist geek of a secret significant other.

"Huh."

#

Rodney has John laid out in all naked his glory in a remarkably short amount of time; spewing details as he strips and folds and pets; stealing a tiny little taste of John's left nipple as he goes.

"It was listed in amongst a mess of data on energy research, and the name they gave it translates to Stimulator, or something like that. Anyway, the instructions are simple – bring it in close to naked skin for best effect, then aim the blunt end towards the chosen area and…"

#

The electrical burn on John's left nipple leaves a tiny silver crescent-moon scar that Rodney always gives a gentle and apologetic kiss, before and after.


 
outsideth3box: SGA Sith Lord of All Geeksoutsideth3box on April 14th, 2009 05:50 am (UTC)
Oh. My. GOD.

The first one was sad but sweet, the next two killed me. Flash! Oh no he didn't! Bwah!

Soooo, electrical play is a no, huh? Heee!
darkhavens: mcshep boys & their toys [literati]darkhavens on April 14th, 2009 06:17 am (UTC)
Thankee! I had fun finding prompts I could subvert into failed kinks. :D
Starchildonlystarchild on April 14th, 2009 06:16 am (UTC)
It's not easy to develop new kinks, indeed! With those two it really should be a given that there would be multiple mishaps and/or hang ups. Nice job here! :)
darkhavens: mcshep boys & their toys [literati]darkhavens on April 14th, 2009 06:23 am (UTC)
Thanks! :D
badwolf36badwolf36 on April 14th, 2009 07:08 am (UTC)
Oh very nice. Hot and fun and so very in character. Thanks for sharing!
darkhavens: mcshep boys & their toys [literati]darkhavens on April 14th, 2009 03:58 pm (UTC)
Thanks! :D
kitty_poker1: McShep no textkitty_poker1 on April 14th, 2009 10:18 am (UTC)
LOL! The mental pictures, oh, the mental pictures...

Love 'em!!
darkhavens: mcshep boys & their toys [literati]darkhavens on April 14th, 2009 04:00 pm (UTC)
Thankee! *smooch*
Goes "Ding" When There's Stuff: McShep Geeks in Love by kueblesuki_blue on April 14th, 2009 10:27 am (UTC)
Luffs.

The analogy makes John twitch back from Rodney's clenched fist, even though he's absolutely certain that Rodney would never do something so childishly evil as to terrify John with the Pegasus equivalent of a tarantula. Ever. Again.

LOL! That conjures up several very funny images.
darkhavens: mcshep boys & their toys [literati]darkhavens on April 14th, 2009 04:03 pm (UTC)
Thanks!

They act like twelve year old boys so often, you know at least one of them has played the Atalntis equivalent of 'What have I got in this matchbox?' to freak the other one out. *g*
Ruricruric on April 14th, 2009 10:37 am (UTC)
Bwah ha - I was SOOOOOO hoping someone would answer number 2 *G* and you did so wonderfully!

Loved the others too!

darkhavens: mcshep boys & their toys [literati]darkhavens on April 14th, 2009 04:04 pm (UTC)
Thank you! That Flash prompt was the one that sparked my interest. I had to go hunting for the others. :D
miso_no_tsukimiso_no_tsuki on April 14th, 2009 11:16 am (UTC)
"Have you seen this needlework?"
Oh Rodney. So wonderfully but multitasking-ly a dork!
The tarantula line was pretty good too!
Wonderful kinkfail, thank you!
Go here for harem!John courtesy of leyna55
http://leyna55.livejournal.com/3844.html

Edited at 2009-04-14 11:16 am (UTC)
spae on April 14th, 2009 12:26 pm (UTC)
Oh oh fuck!

Thank you for the link!
who said what now? - darkhavens on April 14th, 2009 04:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
spae on April 14th, 2009 12:25 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the link back here - the openness of Rodney toward finding new kinks intrigues me! And John lets him ... it must be love!

Awesome!
darkhavens: mcshep boys & their toys [literati]darkhavens on April 14th, 2009 04:11 pm (UTC)
Thanks!

Oh, I'm pretty sure it is love. I have this idea of them getting drunk and discussing kinks and both of them realising that they're kind of unadventurous in bed and that, of the few kinks they each have, they don't actually share one. And so Rodney develops a research proposal and John blinks for a while and then just goes with it. *g*
danceswithgarydanceswithgary on April 14th, 2009 01:47 pm (UTC)
Experiments rule. :-D
darkhavens: mcshep boys & their toys [literati]darkhavens on April 14th, 2009 04:12 pm (UTC)
It's a scientist's duty to experiment, dontcha know. *g*

Thanks!
tabaqui: rodney&johnforestbyobaonatabaqui on April 14th, 2009 06:46 pm (UTC)
Heeeeeee!
Oh, i luff. You must never *assume*, with alien sex toys.
*snickers*

And....rope. And gauzy pants. And....just....
*hands*
:)
darkhavens: shep so very gay [literati]darkhavens on May 3rd, 2009 09:45 pm (UTC)
It looked like a sex toy! The decomentation didn't say it wasn't a sex toy! :P

And the mental image of John in gauzy pants just never gets old.

Thankee!
Antaresantares04a on April 14th, 2009 08:02 pm (UTC)
All three are nice.
No wonder Rodney can't "play" with Kolya in bed.
And the egg shaped sex toy? Too bad it wasn't one. *lol*
darkhavens: mcshep drrrty boys [literati]darkhavens on May 3rd, 2009 09:50 pm (UTC)
Thanks! :D

Rodney is not at all happy that Kolya has managed to mess up one of his favourite kinks. *g*
dragonladyk on April 14th, 2009 09:42 pm (UTC)
Then he showed up, with his stormtroopers and his stupid little pieces of shit pocket knives, and suddenly he's in bed with us and I hate that!"

It's criminal how much I love this.

The electrical burn on John's left nipple leaves a tiny silver crescent-moon scar that Rodney always gives a gentle and apologetic kiss, before and after.

And this, too. Disaster!sex is the best.

DragonLady
darkhavens: mcshep boys & their toys [literati]darkhavens on May 3rd, 2009 09:52 pm (UTC)
Disaster!sex is the best.

Thank you! And yes, I totally agree. It's so much more fun when they get thigh cramp or hiccups or start sneezing mid-coitus. *is evil*
I am Derek's vocal eyebrows: js; lcs [me]literati on April 15th, 2009 01:06 am (UTC)
All three were lovely! The first one made me want to smish Rodney and the second one put a lot of pretty pictures in my head. *g*



darkhavens: rodney adorkable [literati]darkhavens on May 3rd, 2009 09:52 pm (UTC)
*twirls you* Thankee!

I am so very very proud that I made you want to smish Rodney. I remember when he was invisible to you. :P
~Alice~: SGA mcshep eyefucking by catvampcrazinesvinniebatman on April 20th, 2009 02:02 am (UTC)
Oh my god, you know, I could see all of these things happening. That's just how their luck is.

Very funny and enjoyable.

~Alice~
darkhavens: mcshep heart [literati]darkhavens on May 3rd, 2009 09:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

Their luck is... prolific. On the one hand they're still alive, against fearsome odds, but on the other hand... so many failed kinks and leg cramps and mid-coitus sneezing fits! :D
Nuetronorange: John & Rodneynuetronorange on April 20th, 2009 02:03 pm (UTC)
Kinky, hot and ouch, great stories, thank you.
darkhavens: mcshep vegas bluelit [me]darkhavens on May 3rd, 2009 09:55 pm (UTC)
Thanks! :D