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darkhavens
09 November 2008 @ 02:49 am
Not Gonna Happen, Supernatural: Sam/Dean, R
Author: darkhavens
Title: Not Gonna Happen
Fandom: Pairing: Supernatural: Sam/Dean, possible allusions to Dean/Castiel (in the eye of the beholder)
Rating: R
Words: 400
Spoilers: General spoilers for the beginning of S4
Concrit: Please. If you spot a typo, feel free to tell me in comments.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Warnings/Squicks: Non-graphic wincestuous thoughts
Summary: There's something missing, and Sam doesn't know how to broach the subject.
Notes: Written for slashthedrabble prompt #186 'Fail', slashtheimage prompt #003 (see thumbnail at end of fic), and mini_wrimo day 8.

Not Gonna Happen

Sam can't stop looking at the handprint on Dean's shoulder where Castiel - an honest to God (no offence meant) angel - had reached down into the darkest pits of Hell and done what Sam, with all his bargaining and badgering and bloodshed, could not. He'd saved Dean; lifted him up into the light and got him breathing again; alive and energized, kicking ass and taking names. And yet…

Sam doesn't know if it's something he's done, or if something in Dean was maybe altered when the angel laid its hand on him. Did it stop at resurrection, or did it somehow erase the darker sins from Dean's soul, from his consciousness?

It's been weeks now, and Dean hasn't laid a single lustful finger on him. He hasn't flashed his fuck-me smile or turned the heat up with his bedroom eyes. Not by the flicker of an eyelash or a quirk of lips has he so much as hinted that he remembers fucking Sam until he screamed for release just hours before the hellhounds stole his life away.

Sam's… not entirely sure how to broach the subject.

"Apparently, the fact that you screwed me six ways from Sunday the night before that hell-bitch called your marker in has completely slipped your mind. I was just wondering - do you think you're in denial, or suffering from trauma-induced amnesia? Can you not forgive me for not being the one to save your ass? Because I could maybe accept and understand any one of those being the reason for those empty smiles. But if you've sworn to never touch me again as part of a deal with Castiel, that totally blows. And if it's somehow tidied away the worst of your mortal sins to make you worthy of the role it's pretty obviously grooming you to slot right into…"

Yeah. No, that's not a conversation he's ready to have just now. He may never be ready enough for that. It hasn't been that long, after all. It's only been a few weeks, and there's always the worrying possibility that it's PTSD-related. Sam totally doesn't want to go poking a stick into the hornet's nest of Dean's psyche without a damn good reason.

So he'll wait, and watch, and he'll be there when he can. But if Castiel thinks it's going to take Dean away from him now that he has him back…

Not gonna happen.




(click image to view larger and complete)
Image by angelique at deviantART.



Mini-nanowrimo word count: 5021
 
I am Derek's vocal eyebrows: sn; tr [me]literati on November 9th, 2008 02:55 am (UTC)
Oh, WOOBIE!

Poor Sammy, feeling so angsty and woobie over the lack of smexing and oodles of Dean/sexy, sexyCastiel time.

*hugs him*
darkhavens: sn almost [literati]darkhavens on March 9th, 2009 09:42 pm (UTC)
(very very late reply to fb)

Castiel can't have Dean, he's Sam's! :D

*smooches* Ta!
saavikam77: Dean/Sam Hugsaavikam77 on November 9th, 2008 03:23 am (UTC)
Oh, Sammy!! *hugs him* He's got so many reasons to worry about Dean, and not being able to talk to him or get answers out of him must be killing him. O_O

Bravo!!
darkhavens: sn blues bros [literati]darkhavens on March 9th, 2009 09:45 pm (UTC)
(very very late reply to fb)

Thank you! I'm still very much in the mindset of wanting to tell Castiel off for stealing Sam's favourite teddybear. *g*
and then we lit it on fire: spn brotherselectricalgwen on November 9th, 2008 03:30 am (UTC)
YES. Omg, so good. The last line, just... yeah. So matter of fact and solid and The Way Things Are.
darkhavens: sn bring it [literati]darkhavens on March 9th, 2009 09:46 pm (UTC)
(very very late reply to fb)

Thank you!

I'm still in the same mindset. Dean belongs to Sam (and vice versa) and no uppity angel is gonna change that. *g*
(Deleted comment)
darkhavens: sn blues bros [literati]darkhavens on March 9th, 2009 09:51 pm (UTC)
(very very late reply to fb)

Watch out, Cassy. Sammy will own your ass when Dean is involved.

Damn right! Sam won't Dean go a second time. :D

Thanks!

tabaqui: s&dhugbybittersweetarttabaqui on November 9th, 2008 04:14 am (UTC)
*flails*

Dude! Just whap me with angst, why don't you!!
*flails more*
*pets my boy*
darkhavens: sn hunting [literati]darkhavens on March 9th, 2009 09:53 pm (UTC)
(very very late reply to fb)

^^^pets you^^^

This does seem to be my angsty fandom, doesn't it? But they look so pretty doing it, how can I stop? ;)

Thankee!
(Deleted comment)
Kristintxrabbit on November 9th, 2008 03:39 pm (UTC)
Nope. Not gonna happen.

Nice, babe.
tres_mechante: spn - self-helptres_mechante on November 12th, 2008 04:52 pm (UTC)
Um, yeah. Definitely an awkward conversation. ;-)

That is a very interesting dynamic, the whole Sam-Dean-Castiel-good-evil thing.

Well done!
darkhavens: sn papa demon [literati]darkhavens on March 9th, 2009 09:55 pm (UTC)
(very very late reply to fb)

Thank you!

There's so much going on just beneath the surface of all three of them that you can extrapolate all kinds of stuff. :D
brigid_tanner: Castiel-infuriating bastardbrigid_tanner on March 8th, 2009 06:50 pm (UTC)
Oh, poor Sam!
darkhavens: sn brotherly bondage [literati]darkhavens on March 9th, 2009 09:41 pm (UTC)
Hee! I've only seen the first three or four eps of S4, so I still haven't decided whether or not I'm going to like Castiel. This is my first instinctive reaction of 'You are not going to take Dean away from Sam now that you've brought him back!'

Thanks!
laurapetri: erotically co-deplaurapetri on December 29th, 2010 05:57 pm (UTC)
aaaawwww poor Sammy!
darkhavens: sn bed guh [literati]darkhavens on January 18th, 2011 04:59 pm (UTC)
:D Thank you!