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darkhavens
11 June 2008 @ 09:38 am
Whatever The Lady Wants, 1/1, John/Rodney, R
Author: darkhavens
Title: Whatever The Lady Wants
Fandom: Pairing: Stargate Atlantis: John/Rodney
Rating: R
Words: 1308
Concrit: Please. If you spot a typo, please feel free to tell me in comments.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Warnings/Squicks/Kinks: Cross-dressing
Summary: Rodney loses a bet; John benefits from it. And freaks out, just a little.
Notes: Written for my kink_bingo card (here) prompt "Cross-dressing (underwear/lingerie)". This is the second time I have done this to Rodney. He should stop making bets around me. *g*



Something was definitely hinky in the world of Rodney McKay, John could practically smell it. He didn't know what the hell it was, but it was driving him slowly but certifiably crazy.

None of the subtly probing questions he'd asked had procured him a satisfying answer, just a chain of progressively wilder eyerolls and glares that had started out with 'Don't you have better things to do?', through 'Why are you purposely trying to annoy me?' and all the way up to 'The next time Ronon and Teyla look away, I swear I'm going to shoot you!'.

The rapid pace of the escalation of Rodney's ire told John everything he needed to know. Everything, that is, except the why of it all, or maybe the who, and how he was meant to fix it.

By the time the mission was over and his team had made it safely back to Atlantis, John was ready to tear the city apart with his teeth and fingernails if it would only tell him what the hell was wrong with McKay.

From the moment Rodney had arrived in the gateroom, pink-cheeked and breathless, his shirt rumpled and his tac vest askew, John has known that something was amiss.

It was something in the way Rodney moved, the way he held himself just so, more aware of his body than he'd ever been before, at least so far as John was aware.

In a matter of seconds, John considered and discarded the possibility that Rodney had been beaten or involved in some incident that had left him bruised and tender. He knew what that looked like - not to mention sounded like - on Rodney all too well. This wasn't it.

This wasn't anything John had ever seen before.

~

John shadowed an even more oblivious than usual Rodney back to his quarters, slipping in behind him before the door could close. He was bemused by the speed at which Rodney began to strip. His tac vest had hit the floor before John even had time to draw breath, and Rodney's hands were frantically scrabbling at the hem of his shirt when he finally noticed he wasn't alone. He froze like a startled rabbit.

"Colonel… J-John, I didn't reali… That is, I wasn't aware we'd made plans. I'm sorry, but I-I have things to do, right now, and… and you need to… to not be here."

John pondered telling Rodney that his resolve face was looking rather wobbly there around the edges, but figured that would just give him something else to use to deflect attention from whatever he was very obviously trying to hide.

"I'm not going anywhere, Rodney. You've been acting kind of flaky all day, twitching and fidgeting at nothing. Moving like you've got a stick up your-"

John's mind went blank for a moment, whether from shock or lust, he wasn't sure.

"Jesus. You-you're not wearing that plug, are you? I thought we decided that that would be a really really bad idea on an off-world mission."

Rodney looked horrified, but also a little pink around the edges with incipient embarrassment.

"What? No! No, that would just be asking for trouble, with the way our missions usually go. I promise you, I'm not wearing- that."

And wow, if that didn't mean he was wearing something else he shouldn't be, John would eat his boots.

"'Fess up. Whatcha got on underneath your uniform there, buddy? And why are you so determined to keep it a deep dark secret?"

Rodney's hands were still clutching the hem of his shirt, and at John's teasing question they began to wring and twist the fabric, tugging it up just enough for John to see a minute strip of something that looked remarkably like-

"Pink satin?! Rodney, you kinky dog. I have to admit I'm kind of surprised. I never took you for the crossdr-"

"I lost a bet, okay?" He yanked the shirt back down and John tried not to notice how it made his nipples stand out. "It was a stupid bet that I had no business losing and Cad- I don't want to talk about it."

John briefly considered leaving Rodney to deal with his shame alone, but the thought of seeing his nipples - his chest and belly - draped in something as sensual and feminine as satin, swiftly closed the door on that possibility.

Without taking his eyes off Rodney's awkwardly defiant stance, John crossed to the bed and settled down, leaning back on his hands.

"So don't talk. Strip."

The shock on Rodney's face was worth the price he was doubtless going to end up paying for this little stunt, but John was sure it would be worth it. Just the thought of seeing… Oh yeah, he was doomed.

"Show me. Please."

With a final suspicious glare, Rodney tugged his shirt up and over his head, revealing shimmery pink satin that looked amazingly obscene stretched tight across his chest and belly.

"Jesus, Rodney, that's…"

John didn't know how he'd meant to end that sentence, but as incomplete as it was, it was obviously clear enough for Rodney.

"It's been driving me insane since I put it on this morning. Every breath I take makes my nipples rub and drag and-"

John whined as Rodney fumbled his belt open, shoved his thumbs beneath his waistband and skimmed his pants down over his pink satin-draped hips.

"Holy… A teddy? Who the hell did yo- Oh, no. Please, tell me you didn't. Tell me you didn't agree to another bet with Cadman? Didn't you learn anything last time?"

John was really turned on, but he was also slightly freaked by the fact that Laura Cadman was ultimately, though somewhat tangentially, responsible for his present erection.

"I wasn't supposed to lose! I don't understand how she does it. I know the physics backwards and forwards, inside and out. There's no way she should be able to-"

The sight of Rodney standing before him in a too-tight pink satin teddy was a bit of a distraction, especially as the lower half left absolutely nothing to the imagination, clinging to Rodney's cock like it was spray-painted on. Still, the point had to be made.

"Rodney, her father and her grandfather are both demolitions experts. She spent her childhood building little Lego buildings and using modelling clay to shape tiny charges to blow them up. Her father graded her efforts on accuracy and innovation."

Seeing the unhappy twist shaping Rodney's mouth, John leaned forward and grabbed his hips, tugging him into an embrace. When he was close enough, John nuzzled his belly, dropping one hand down to the curve of his satin-wrapped erection. His thumb rubbed tiny circles across the damp tip.

"You know the physics of explosions, Rodney. You know the math, the equations, the science of it all. But Cadman lives this stuff. She can ID an explosive by the touch and the smell. She could shape a charge to trim your toenails without burning your toes."

John pressed a lingering kiss to Rodney's navel, the slick material snagging on his chapped lower lip.

"You can't win this one; you have to stop trying. The first time it was coffee, this time it's… Well, I'm really not sure what she was trying for this time, but I think we can definitely say she miscalculated." John froze, momentarily horrified. "God, I hope she miscalculated. If this was her plan, we…" He blanched. "We're screwed."

"Could we perhaps have the panic attack later? This stuff isn't getting any more comfortable to wear, and I'm sure that, for a while back there at least, we were heading for a different sort of screwed."

Rodney's cock twitched in John's hand as if to reinforce his message, and John rolled his shoulders in a languid shrug.

"Whatever the lady wants."


 
lyonzalyonza on June 11th, 2008 10:12 am (UTC)
Heh. Cadman rulez ;)

Very good, I enjoyed it.

"Could we perhaps have the panic attack later? This stuff isn't getting any more comfortable to wear, and I'm sure that, for a while back there at least, we were heading for a different sort of screwed."

I giggled over that :)
darkhavens: rodney adorkable [literati]darkhavens on June 16th, 2008 10:59 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

Rodney will always find something to bitch about, even dressed to thrill. *g*
pixiequeen10thk: glassesrodneypixiequeen10thk on June 11th, 2008 11:19 am (UTC)
Oooooh! Rodney in pink satin! :D
darkhavens: rodney adorkable [literati]darkhavens on June 16th, 2008 10:59 pm (UTC)
Yes! Isn't it a... boggling mental picture? *g*

Thanks!
outsideth3box: SGA Aurora VR- I Dream of Jeannieoutsideth3box on June 11th, 2008 11:45 am (UTC)
"...Well, I'm really not sure what she was trying for this time, but I think we can definitely say she miscalculated." John froze, momentarily horrified. "God, I hope she miscalculated. If this was her plan, we…" He blanched. "We're screwed.""

Yes! If by "screwed" he means HOT, and by "she" he means YOU!

You MUST continue to dress Rodney up in pretty wrapping so John can unwrap him. So saith I. Mmmmmm!!!
darkhavens: rodney adorkable [literati]darkhavens on June 16th, 2008 11:01 pm (UTC)
Hee! Thank you!

Rodney does look unreasonably pretty in pink satin. Cadman planned the whole thing very carefully. *g*
Sara: fangirl arm pornpanisdead on June 11th, 2008 12:23 pm (UTC)
Yay, I love guys in womens' underwear! This is fun.
darkhavens: rodney adorkable [literati]darkhavens on June 16th, 2008 11:02 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

This is the second time I've put Rodney in drag after losing a bet. I'm beginning to think he loses onm purpose. *g*
adafrogadafrog on June 11th, 2008 12:44 pm (UTC)
Oh, awesome. And I loved the description of Cadman's childhood. hee!
darkhavens: rodney adorkable [literati]darkhavens on June 16th, 2008 11:05 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

I love the idea of Cadman as a sweet innocent-looking child building up her Lego towers and then moulding tiny little plasticine charges. The fact that a love of explosives is in her blood explains why she likes poking Rodney to make him go boom. *g*
who said what now? - adafrog on June 17th, 2008 02:34 pm (UTC) (Expand)
melaganmelagan on June 11th, 2008 12:58 pm (UTC)
You totally win. Sweet combination of funny and sexy and I really might have to spend some of my morning now thinking about how sensitive Rodney's nipples are all flushed pink and needing to be drawn into John's mouth where he can suck at them through the satin...
darkhavens: rodney adorkable [literati]darkhavens on June 16th, 2008 11:06 pm (UTC)
Hee! Yes! I hope it was an enjoyable morning with Rodney's nipples. *g*

Thank you!
iadorespike: McShep Target  by tardis80iadorespike on June 11th, 2008 01:26 pm (UTC)
Whatever The Lady Wants
John was really turned on, but he was also slightly freaked by the fact that Laura Cadman was ultimately, though somewhat tangentially, responsible for his present erection.

*snicker*...poor John. *g* This is cute, sweetie, and I think that pink was a really good choice for Rodney. :D (I like the Cadman *backstory*, too - very interesting.)

Thanks!
darkhavens: rodney adorkable [literati]darkhavens on June 16th, 2008 11:11 pm (UTC)
Re: Whatever The Lady Wants
Thank you!

Cadman's backstory was fun to create. There's more in my head, so I'll probably use it again. *g*
See the blazing you'll be sorry...: Cadmandarsynia on June 11th, 2008 02:54 pm (UTC)
\o/ I really loved this! The way that John knows Rodney's a bit kinky but that this isn't his kink, and it turns out to be JOHN's, a little bit was a really awesome twist. Fabulous job, and I adored the character snippets about Cadman!
darkhavensdarkhavens on June 16th, 2008 11:17 pm (UTC)
r
Thank you!

I think they've both discovered new kinks since they got together, but this has to be one of the most unexpected. *g*

Cadman's backstory was fun to create. It fits in with her character. I can imagine her mother insisting on the tapdancing lessons as a way to get her little girl to stop playing with big boys' toys. :P
LadyCat: sga - ronon headdeskladycat777 on June 11th, 2008 03:03 pm (UTC)
Okay, how sad is it that I found John talking about Cadman and her explosive knowledge to be the hottest thing ever?

So was the rest of it, too :)
darkhavens: rodney adorkable [literati]darkhavens on June 16th, 2008 11:20 pm (UTC)
Heeeeeee! Thank you!

When Cadman ended up in Rodney's head, you know that the first thing John did (after leaving the infirmary) was read everything he could find on her - files, mission reports he'd only skimmed before, and then he 'subtly' cross-examined her teammates and got quite an education. *g*
tabaqui: rodney&johnforestbyobaonatabaqui on June 11th, 2008 04:29 pm (UTC)
BWAAAAAAhahahahaaha.
*cough*

Pink!
:)
darkhavens: rodney adorkable [literati]darkhavens on June 16th, 2008 11:21 pm (UTC)
Pink! Yis! And I didn't even mention the little lacy bits around the legs anc the 'cleavage'. *g*

Thank you! :D
a fox in the hen houseaccidentalfan on June 11th, 2008 04:35 pm (UTC)
Very very nice. I absolutely love that it was because Rodney lost a bet to Cadman. Brilliant.
darkhavens: rodney adorkable [literati]darkhavens on June 16th, 2008 11:23 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

I figured Cadman had to be the one to get Rodney into pink satin. She's just that evil. *G*
winter_elf: Sexy John&Rodneywinter_elf on June 11th, 2008 05:21 pm (UTC)
Heh. Oh Rodney, the mess you get into. Very amusing, and almost frightening on how Cadman acquired a teddy large enough for Rodney... hmm... evil she is.
darkhavens: rodney adorkable [literati]darkhavens on June 16th, 2008 11:25 pm (UTC)
I think Cadman could get hold of just about anything she wanted if there was a good enough reason. *g*

Thanks!
wihluta: SG McKay hallucinatingwihluta on June 11th, 2008 08:42 pm (UTC)
Oh, I bet she totally knew what results this would have... Cadman RULZ! ;-)

Lovely fic!
darkhavens: rodney adorkable [literati]darkhavens on June 16th, 2008 11:26 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

I'm sure she knew exactly what she was doing. She's smart and evil. *g*
~Alice~vinniebatman on June 11th, 2008 08:53 pm (UTC)
Whoa, very hot and I loved the way the guys kept reacting.
darkhavens: rodney adorkable [literati]darkhavens on June 16th, 2008 11:28 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

It's fun to imagine how these guys will react to... unusual stimuli, and then even more fun to write it. *g*
goddess47goddess47 on June 12th, 2008 12:12 am (UTC)
OMG I *adore* kink bingo...... This is so much fun!!!

Pink! Rodney in pink silk...... mmmmmmmm.....
darkhavens: rodney adorkable [literati]darkhavens on June 16th, 2008 11:29 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

I'm enjoying my game of bingo too. And I'm only about a third of the way through my card, so there's plenty more to go! :D