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darkhavens
14 December 2005 @ 12:44 am
'Is Nothing Sacred?', three for open_on_sunday challenge #142 - Brought To you By...
Author: darkhavens
Title: Is Nothing Sacred?
Pairing: Spike/Xander of Buffy
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No harm, no foul, no money made.
Warnings/Squicks: Abuse of song lyrics, mention of gimp masks, and semi-graphic oral action.
Summary: The Count isn't the only vampire who loves Sesame Street.
Previous chapters: More of the baby!vamp!Xander 'verse.
Notes: All lyrics taken from here. No desecration of childhood memories intended. ;)



Brought To You by the Letter 'C' and the Number '1938'

Spike tracked the caterwauling down to the living room sofa, where his childe was sprawled on the sofa watching… Broadway Melody of 1938? Huh. And then Spike actually listened to the lyrics and debated slinking back to the bedroom to hide his head under a pillow.

"...made me love you
And all the time you knew it
Me guess you always knew it
Me love all kind of cookies
Like chocolate-chip crunchies, oooh
But one look at you and
Me always get the munchies…"

Spike was sure there wasn't enough whisky in the world to erase the memories of this.



Brought To You by the Letter 'D' and the Number '1'

It was the last thing Spike expected to hear being sung in an adult toyshop, and, really, that said something rather terrifying about his boy. But still, as soon as Spike heard the lilting, insane lyrics, he knew exactly where to find his warped, twisted childe.

"Rubber Duckie, you're the one
You make bathtime lots of fun
Rubber Duckie, I'm awfully fond of you…"

"Xander?"

"Spike! Look! They have bondage duckies! There's even one in a gimp mask like that guy at the club last week. Can we get one?"

Spike sighed and the clerk rolled his eyes.

"Kids, eh?"



Brought To You by the Letters 'S' and 'X' and the Number '69'

Xander concentrated on remembering not to breathe, a habit he still had trouble with during sex, especially this position.

The column of cool flesh that blocked his throat and rubbed across his tongue tasted saltsweetbitter better than blood and chocolate. Leather, copper, salt and cotton - flavours that spelled 'Spike' in neon letters flashed wildly in great arcs across his shuttered eyelids. Blood and lube and nicotine, latex from the latest toys, the slightest zing of cinnamon body oil…

The throat around his own cock swallowed hard and Xander clenched and came, whimpering, begging, whining until Spike had done the same.




NEXT
 
I am Derek's vocal eyebrows: dt; want this [me]literati on December 14th, 2005 12:56 am (UTC)
hee! you so clever. ;)

I love all three!

Spike was sure there wasn't enough whisky in the world to erase the memories of this.

Love this line. :D
Wyckednyghtpet on December 14th, 2005 01:18 am (UTC)
Clever Clever Clever!!! Those were great. I think "Spike was sure there wasn't enough whisky in the world to erase the memories of this" is my favorite thing.

These were fantastic!
tabaquitabaqui on December 14th, 2005 01:18 am (UTC)
BWAAAAAAaahahhaa.
Bondage duckies and the cookie song.
You're insane.
:)
*bounce*
Dani: NB daydreamerumbralillium on December 14th, 2005 01:20 am (UTC)
O_O I will never see Cookie Monster and rubber duckies the same way, ever again. *giggles madly* Thankee! *laughs*
scarlettlilyscarlettlily on December 14th, 2005 01:29 am (UTC)
I adore all three. But the last one is really good because Spike is really just that hot!
batmanvinnie: Corporate Puppetbatmanvinnie on December 14th, 2005 01:34 am (UTC)
*fans self* that last one was nummy, and the first two were so damn funny. Great job.
rngrdeadrngrdead on December 14th, 2005 01:42 am (UTC)
Ohhh the last one.... fans self... but the rubber ducky ... just too cute!!!

Thanks so much... you are a wonder!!

L
J
outsideth3box: Baby Devil Duckoutsideth3box on December 14th, 2005 03:29 am (UTC)
I love it!

The PBDD would like you to know that he is amused, as well.
Tam 'O Bedlamangstpuppy on December 14th, 2005 05:35 am (UTC)
Number One? Scary.
Number Two? Adorable.
Number Three? Guh.

And a pressie for you and baby!vamp!Xander:



woman_of_woman_of_ on December 14th, 2005 05:48 am (UTC)
Wonderful, always a highlight of looking through my friends list when you do more. I think my fav is the second one. But I love them all
Nash: vamp!Xander-deathnashmaveric on December 14th, 2005 06:18 am (UTC)
he knew exactly where to find his warped, twisted childe.

Warped twisted Xander is sooooo cool! ::snicker:: Loved them all of course but the second one made me giggle out loud ::grin::
everxxafter: cruentusangeluseverxxafter on December 14th, 2005 09:47 am (UTC)
Spike was sure there wasn't enough whisky in the world to erase the memories of this.
*giggles*

"Kids, eh?"
hee! Favorite! XD


The throat around his own cock swallowed hard and Xander clenched and came, whimpering, begging, whining until Spike had done the same.
*hums happily*
Ditto: Spanderstretfordditto on December 14th, 2005 11:25 am (UTC)

Yum. :)
most excellently twisted: spander otpfanbot on December 14th, 2005 04:34 pm (UTC)
Funny
Funny
Hawt!

Love ya!
Goes "Ding" When There's Stuff: Cordy stabbity by southernangelsuki_blue on December 14th, 2005 04:35 pm (UTC)
Rubby ducky!!! I love that boy!
     Mandya_phoenixdragon on December 15th, 2005 02:31 am (UTC)
As always, you make me smile and bring a full sensation to my heart with these Baby!Vamp! stories! I adored all three, but I am waffling between the 1938 one and the #1 story as my fav... Something about rubber duckies has always made me laugh, and now that you have fully corrupted me - every time I think of that song, I'll think of this ficlet! *Giggles!* I adore you, you Evil Thing!
*Smooches and Huggles...*
rayne_y_dazerayne_y_daze on December 16th, 2005 04:47 am (UTC)
Holy cow, this comment window has been open in my Firefox since last night! ::facepalm::

Only you could do that to Sesame Street memories and make me love you for it! Hee! I will never again be able to hear rubber ducky the same way again. :-)